


No Turning Back

by milesofblue



Series: Young Hearts [1]
Category: The Bone Witch Series - Rin Chupeco
Genre: Age Difference, Canon Gay Relationship, Destiny, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Gender Identity, Heartache, M/M, Magic, Mutual Pining, Necromancy, Peril, Runes, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Reflection, Sensuality, Sexual Identity, Slow Burn, Spells & Enchantments, Suppressed Sexuality, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-06 07:23:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21222788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofblue/pseuds/milesofblue
Summary: Part 1 of the “Young Hearts” three-part series based on the “Bone Witch” book trilogy! The untold story of Likh and Khalad. A shy, beautiful boy working in a zivar shop, dreaming of another life, and a former prince called to an unexpected destiny. Can they overcome rigid tradition, impending war, and forbidden romance? Can the heart truly conquer all? Read their story to find out!





	1. For the First Time

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on the book "The Bone Witch" by Rin Chupeco. All characters, names, locations, and concepts you recognize from the book belong to her. All new scenarios, concepts and dialogue etc. came from my own imagination. This story is not for profit. It was simply created for your pleasure and mine and to pay homage to the fascinating world of "The Bone Witch" and explore two of its minor characters in more depth. Massive kudos to Rin Chupeco for creating this world and the ramen that sustained her! I will be forever grateful! 
> 
> This story and the rest in this "Young Hearts" series will only make sense and hold deep meaning if you've read the entire "Bone Witch" series. Knowledge of this world and its characters is assumed. 
> 
> The timeline for this story is deliberately different than the one in the books. In the Bone Witch series Likh and Khalad don't even meet until half-way through the second book, “The Heartforger”. In my story, I've moved their meeting to take place during the events of the first book. Aside from that change, I've tried to remain as close as possible to the original timeline of the first book.
> 
> The only other deliberate change I made was changing the word “Heartsglass” to “Heartglass". 
> 
> Enjoy and thank you for reading! I've put my heart and soul into this! =)
> 
> (Main story title and sub-title based on the song “Young Hearts” by Dave Merenda and Commuter (1984).

_\--------------------------------_

_“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don’t you?”_

_-Rumi_

\--------------------------------

***

~Likh~

The first time Likh saw _him_ was the night he accompanied Tea to have her memories extracted. It was raining buckets in Ankyo and they’d run from one shop awning to another trying to stay dry. Fox followed close behind—Tea’s ever present body guard.

“I hope you know a good Wind rune!” Tea barked as they stood dripping wet under the awning of a sweet shop, the tempting smells of baked goods making Likh’s stomach growl.

Likh smiled and wiped the rain drops off his cheek. “How close are we?”

“It’s just right around the corner,” she said, wiping her wet hands down the sides of her tunic.

“I’ll do it here then,” he said, raising his hands.

Likh closed his eyes momentarily, envisioning the distinct swirling symbol for Wind, and then traced the same symbol between himself and Tea; the mark glowed a faint yellow-white, instantly causing a gust of air to whirl around them, drying them off from head to toe.

“I really need to learn that one!” Tea said, her grey eyes wide.

“It comes in handy,” Likh replied with a shrug, and then nervously shoved his hands in his pockets, flicking his eyes around, afraid he’d been seen.

A boy with the power to do runes was uncommon, and if found, was immediately recruited to join the Deathseekers after his official Heartsrune Day Ceremony.

But Likh had no desire to be a Deathseeker…far from it.

His heart was set on becoming something completely unheard of for a male…an _asha_.

Only Tea and Fox, and the _zivar_ shop proprietress, mistress Chesh, knew of his deepest desire. Tea had coaxed it out of him one day after discovering his silver heartglass; she’d practically seen right through the charm he’d placed on the necklace in order to hide its telling hue, and he'd had no choice but to divulge his secret.

Tea was sympathetic to his plight and encouraged him to not give up on his dreams, and even to be so bold as to dance at the start of the _darashi oyun—_the annual asha performance held for all of Kion. Likh confided that he’d actually, _secretly,_ been taking dance lessons at an asha school, using charms to hide his gender.

Tea was even more adamant that he pursue his dream.

He was so grateful for his friendship with the girl. They’d become close during Tea’s frequent visits to the _zivar_ shop over the past few months. She was always running errands for Mistress Parmina or picking up new accessories for Lady Shadi, and now that she was starting her own asha apprenticeship, purchasing accessories for herself. Tea had said she didn’t understand why anyone couldn’t be an asha if they had the gift of rune magic…and that traditions should be changed to suit the people, not the other way around. Likh had blushed at her boldness but admired her for it nonetheless. He hoped to one day be just as brave and stand up against the rigid traditions that dictated his destiny.

His bravery was certainly being tested as he agreed to accompany her that night. She had told him about the Heartforger’s apprentice, a man named Khalad who was staying outside the city, whom she visited frequently to share her memories; the man bottled them up and sold them or used them to forge new heartglass.

Likh had heard of the _Heartforger_ of course, everyone had, but it was a rare thing to actually see him, and even rarer to be invited into his company. Nothing was known of his apprentice, only that he’d been with the Heartforger for several years now. Likh was curious to know more about the mysterious man and had willingly agreed to accompany Tea and meet him, though he was anxious to be breaking curfew and sneaking out of the _zivar_ shop under the cloak of midnight.

Tea had promised they would be fine and that her brother, Fox, would be accompanying them. That put him somewhat at ease, though, he wasn’t sure if he could ever be completely comfortable in the company of a _dead man_.

The three of them ran out from the awning and around the corner to a shabby looking dwelling place that was nearly hidden in an alleyway.

It looked quite inconspicuous.

There was a ragged wooden door and no sign or symbol marking what the place actually was. Likh found that odd; though, he supposed that the Heartforger probably preferred anonymity in his line of work. He hadn’t the time to be bothered.

The front windows were so filthy one couldn’t even see inside, but there was a faint, yellow glow of light, making it clear that someone was there.

Likh’s heart started beating rapidly for several reasons.

For one, he was uncomfortable in foreign places…and especially _shabby_ places. Not that he was snobbish by any means; he just preferred cleanliness and order and always took great pains with his own hygiene and how he presented himself.

It made him feel less anxious.

He’d always been this way and it certainly hadn’t gone unnoticed by his male peers. How many times had he been taunted for behaving like a “girl”? If they only knew how desperately he wished it were true!

Being called a female was anything but an insult…it was his heart’s _greatest desire_.

And for two, he was very uncomfortable around people he didn’t know. His group of confidants was small, containing only Mistress Chess, Tea, and her brother, Fox. He didn’t trust easily, and for good reason. Most people could never comprehend the way he felt on the inside. Silence was safer.

Tea rapped on the door three times and they waited.

Likh heard the sound of a stool scraping against a stone floor and his heart quickened.

A moment later the door creaked open and a strange, white-haired creature poked its bespectacled face out, squinting in the darkness. 

“Tea?”

“Yes, it’s me! And I brought a friend!”

“Come in.”

Likh nearly tripped over his own feet as he gaped up at the man, trying to see him properly in the half-light, but he could only make out his silhouette. He quickly slipped into the shop behind Tea, immediately overwhelmed by the scent of smoke and mint and something else he couldn’t quite place.

“I see you’ve cleaned for us!” Tea said sarcastically, walking around the room with her hands on her hips.

The man scoffed and shook his head before closing the door and walking towards them; he pushed his spectacles up on his head and rubbed his eyes.

Likh shot him a quick glance but was suddenly mesmerized by all the smoking, glowing, and bubbling glass bottles scattered haphazardly around the room; they were covering the table, overflowing the cabinets, and lining the shelves…Were they memories? Some were corked with labels and others seemed to still be in the process of brewing.

At the very center of the room, next to a wooden stool, sat a large contraption like nothing he’d ever seen before. It was similar to a spinning wheel, yet different, covered in spikes and pulleys and all sorts of strange things. Did the man spin hearts on this machine?

“Khalad, this is Likh. Likh, this is the Heartforger’s apprentice, Khalad.”

Likh whipped around, flushing.

“Hello,” the man said, extending out a large hand.

Likh gulped and lightly shook his hand back, jumping slightly as his grip tightened; he had exceptionally _warm_ hands.

“Nice to meet you,” Likh replied, just above a whisper and looking away nervously.

“You’ll have to excuse Likh,” Tea said playfully. “He’s only used to being in the company of asha accessories…and formidable creatures like _Mistress Parmina_.”

Likh blushed at Tea’s brazen remark.

The man smiled. “So _you’re_ the one Tea talks about all the time?”

Likh looked to Tea and she grinned back.

“I-I guess so,” he replied, nervously reaching his hands up and fidgeting with the ponytail draped over his shoulder.

The man eyed his hands for a moment, frowning, and then looked at Tea. “Ready?"

“Whenever you are,” she said, sitting down on the wooden stool, waiting.

The apprentice smiled sleepily and walked to stand in front of her. He raised his hand and lightly moved his fingertip in a line across her forehead.

Likh’s eyes widened as he watched a silvery strand move from Tea’s forehead to the tip of the apprentice’s finger. Khalad flicked the shimmering wisp into a glass bottle and corked it.

Tea started laughing and then the apprentice joined in—clearly the memory had been something comical. Likh wished he knew what it was. Even Fox was grinning as he stood near the pair, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he leaned against the wall.

“Likh, you can come closer,” Tea urged, motioning him forward.

He gulped and walked nearer, keeping his eyes trained on the apprentice’s hand. The man closed his eyes again and raised his fingers to Tea’s forehead, willing another silver wisp from her.

This time, Likh could see and _feel_ the memory:

—_…splashing in the creek…waters freezing but I don’t care…the smell of pine…and fresh baked bread—_

“I saw it!” he exclaimed excitedly. “I mean, I _felt_ it…”

The apprentice opened his eyes and smiled warmly up at him, “It was a happy memory of Tea’s that you saw.”

Likh stared back at the man and his breath faltered.

The room was fairly dark save for a candle that sat on the table, shining near the apprentice’s face and reflecting off his eyes; his irises appeared to be glowing from within—like two silver embers, encircling endless pools of black.

It was eerie, and Likh wanted to look away, but he couldn’t.

There was no denying the man was exhausted, but even so, there was no denying he was blatantly _attractive_.

The apprentice looked completely out of place in the small, dirty space, wearing a worn, grey tunic and ill-fitted trousers. He had a formidable brow set above his stunning, silver eyes; high, proud cheekbones, a strong, straight nose and tempting, plush lips the color of a pale pomegranate. He seemed to be about twenty in age, yet his hair was white as snow, almost translucent, shaggy, and in need of a good washing.

He was mystifying and intimidating to say the least. But even despite his striking appearance, there was something about him that Likh couldn’t explain…something that seemed so _familiar_.

Something that made Likh simultaneously afraid of him and yet not afraid at all. 

His heart fluttered and he finally had to look away.

The apprentice closed his eyes again and ran his pointer finger across Tea’s forehead.

This time the memory felt exceedingly sad and Tea’s face immediately fell:

—_my brother…my brother…he can’t be…so young…so much to do and see…how can I go on without him? How can I bear it?—_

Likh stepped back, feeling like he was prying into her private pain.

“That’s all for now,” the apprentice said solemnly, corking the blue tinged glass bottle in his hand and then scrawling a word on it with an ink pen that looked like “Sadness”.

_For being so gifted with his hands he certainly has terrible handwriting, _Likh thought, raising his brows in surprise.

The man abruptly stopped what he was doing and stared pointedly up at him for a moment, as if hearing his very thoughts.

Likh blushed deeply and wanted to crawl under a rock.

Finally, Khalad stood up, his silver heartglass swinging around his neck like a shining star, and set the bottle down on a wooden tray amongst a dozen or so others.

Likh’s heart started pounding.

He thought of his own silver heartglass hiding safely tucked away beneath his tunic. He did _not_ want the man to discover the charms he’d placed on it to hide its true nature. It wasn’t safe to share that secret with just anyone—even if he was the Heartforger’s apprentice.

And yet…

“Khalad, you need to get some rest,” Tea said emphatically, frowning at the man and interrupting Likh’s thoughts.

“I know…I know, but there’s simply no time. Masters left me with an impossible amount of work, and of course he expects it to all be done when he comes back…”

“Did he return to Belaryu? Back to your headquarters?”

Khalad laughed as he casually ran his fingers back through his snowy hair. “Yes, but we don’t call it our _headquarters_," he said with a tired grin. "We go where we're needed. Heartforgers don’t congregate at some compound…we leave that to the _nobility_,” he said darkly, pursing his lips as a shadow crossed his face.

Likh’s ears perked up.

Clearly the man held contempt against the royal houses; which wasn’t so shocking considering the Heartforger himself was notorious for rebuking the nobility for their politics and shallowness while the rest of the world went on to suffer. Clearly, his apprentice shared the same sentiments.

And another thing was made clear as well—the sound of Khalad's deep, robust laugh raised the hairs on the back of Likh's neck…though he wasn’t sure why.

“So you’re not here permanently then?” Likh blurted out, quickly looking away and playing with his hair again.

“No…Master just stationed me here temporarily while he returned to Belaryu. I’ll join him there eventually. In our business, the demand far outweighs the supply,” Khalad said with a note of sadness, his shoulders slumping.   


Likh nodded, unsure what else to say, but strangely enough, something deep inside him protested to the apprentice’s eventual departure. The man couldn’t leave yet—he needed to get to know him more! He had so many questions!

He looked up and caught the apprentice staring pointedly at his chest, right where his heartglass hung beneath his tunic. The man frowned and scrunched his white brows, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Well, I guess we’ll be going!” Tea said, breaking the awkward silence. “And you need to get some sleep!”

“I’ll try,” Khalad said, rubbing at his eyes.

Likh moved quickly to follow behind Tea, anxious to leave the place, and was almost out the door when the apprentice said, “Likh.” The sound of his name coming out of that mouth nearly stopping his heart.

It felt too intimate.

He froze in his tracks and gaped up at him.

“It was nice to meet you…and you’re welcome back any time.”

Likh's breath caught in his chest as he blinked up at him. The man was at least a foot and a half taller than him and easily twice his size.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

Khalad smiled back serenely before bowing his head in respect, a strand of white hair partially obscuring one silver eye as he tilted his face back up to look at him.

~~~

That night, when Likh lay in bed, all he could see were silver eyes…silver hair…silver memories.

He wondered if Khalad had seen right through the charm on his heartglass…And was it possible that the man could read his mind without even looking at his memories?

He sincerely hoped not, because if he could…Likh would surely die of embarrassment.

He determined never to let the apprentice into his mind.

Being so vulnerable would surely be unwise.

He rolled to his side and faced the small, square window just above his bed, and gazed wistfully up at the silver moon suspended in the midnight blue sky; it was so bright only a few stars were faintly visible, nearly completely washed out by its all-encompassing glow.

_“Khalad…” _he breathed, a peculiar tightness overwhelming his chest.

Wincing slightly from the pain, his eyes fluttered shut, and the smallest of smiles formed on his lips.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad was deep in his work, engrossed with trying to forge a heartglass for a woman who’d lost almost all memory of her late husband, when his hands faltered and the glass cracked, catching him completely by surprise. What was_ wrong _with him?

Why was he having such a hard time concentrating?

Not that he was exactly an expert yet on forging heartglass…he mainly did memory extractions, but how was he ever going to improve his skills if he didn’t practice?

He sat up on the hard stool, wincing at the soreness in his muscles, and ran his hands back through his hair in exasperation. 

He needed to focus.

The Heartforger was depending on him to finish an insurmountable list of tasks before the New Moon...but at this rate, he feared he would only get half of them completed.

He sighed and stood up, stretching his arms above his head and turning to look out the window. He really did need to clean the glass. The window panes were so filthy you could barely see outside. But between his long list of assigned work, and helping the random, stray person that wandered into his shop, there was little time left for tidying.

_“You have such a bleeding heart!”_ he could almost hear the Heartforger saying in his crackly voice. _“It’s going to be the death of you!”_

But he couldn’t help it; in the end, his compassion always won out.

He sighed, running his fingertips over the cool glass of a dozen or so milky white bottles sitting in a wooden tray on the table, all containing fresh memories he’d harvested that morning. Without even unstoppering their corks he could feel what each one contained: sadness, joy, regret, excitement…longing…

No, that last one hadn’t come from a bottle, he thought, scrunching his face. He was sure he hadn’t collected _longing_ that morning. He frowned and absently rubbed at his chest, trying to find the root of this strange emotion.

What was his heart longing for?

He held up his heartglass, narrowing his eyes at it. In the midst of its undulating sea of silver there were flecks of pink in varying shades, like tiny rose buds floating upon the waves.

He knew their meaning:…attraction…desire…infatuation…He’d seen them time enough again…but the problem was, he didn’t know what they were doing in _his _heartglass.

They’d never been there before.

He shook his head and tucked the necklace back inside his faded brown tunic, deciding that more work would surely set him straight. 

***

~Likh~

When Likh was asked to accompany Tea to visit the Heartforger’s apprentice again, he wasted no time in saying, “Yes!” She’d given him a funny look at the time and then shook her head and laughed.

For this trip they were going in broad daylight, and on the weekend, too, when they both had free time to themselves. Fox would be coming along as well.

When they arrived at the now familiar wooden door, Likh’s heart started to beat faster; he hadn’t been there for a week and it had been all he could think about since. Not only was he strangely drawn to the apprentice himself, but he had so many unanswered questions about the process of forging heartglass. He determined to speak up and ask the man.

Tea knocked on the door several times before it finally opened. Khalad stood in the doorway staring down at her, wearing a weary smile and a ratty grey tunic. 

And then he looked to Likh.

_Did he just smile even larger when he looked at me? _he wondered in shock, feeling a blush warm his cheeks.

“You’re back,” Khalad said directly to him, his mesmerizing, silver eyes twinkling.

“Yes,” Likh breathed as he gaped up at him, at a complete loss for words.

The man had remembered him! And he was _glad_ to see him! It was more than he could have hoped for.

And just like the time before, Tea sat on the Heartforger’s stool and Khalad extracted more memories, but this time, instead of being close enough to feel her memories, Likh chose to stand back and observe the strange bottles and apparatuses sprinkled around the room.

He noticed an unmade cot in one corner with tattered grey bedding. Is that what the apprentice slept on? It looked very uncomfortable. There was a wooden cabinet full of glass bottles; a large, rectangular table, and bookshelves stacked with piles of decaying books. A small sink sat against one wall with some pots and pans and dried tea leaves and herbs hanging above it. _Probably mint, _he thought, continuing to walk around.

There was a fireplace at the end of the room that had died down to a few burning embers, likely because the apprentice was too tired to keep it going. Likh shivered from the chill; he walked over and carefully placed a few more logs on the ashes, his fingers itching to draw a Fire rune and get a fire blazing in a matter of seconds, but he abstained, still not ready to let the apprentice in on his secret. 

“Likh, do you want to share any memories?” Tea asked.

“No!” he yelped, whipping around.

Tea started laughing and Khalad smirked before letting out a bemused chuckle.

“It was just a question!” she said, her cheeks rosy. “And besides, Khalads _the sole of discretion,_” she said before winking at the apprentice.

Likh blushed and turned back to stare at the fire. He hated being pressured into doing things…especially when those _things_ made him feel vulnerable. 

“Thanks for doing that,” Khalad said, standing up and shuffling towards him, his broad shoulders drooping as if he were carrying invisible weights.   


“It was nothing…” he replied, shooting him a quick, sideways glance.

“Likh, why don’t you stay here for a bit while Fox and I go get us some food?” Tea asked.

“What?” he yelped, unable to hide the panic flashing in his wide eyes.

“Or you can come with us…” she said, as if talking to a child. “I just thought you might have some questions for Khalad about what he does…or about a _million_ of them,” she muttered.

Likh blushed fiercely and pursed his lips. Clearly, Tea was referring to all the questions he’d been badgering her with over the past week. Was his interest in the man really so obvious?

“I can tell you anything you’d like to know,” Khalad said, his voice soft as he stared down at him, his silver eyes glittering in the firelight.

“Okay…” Likh breathed, melting slightly. 

“We’ll be back soon!” Tea said brightly before promptly shoving Fox out the door.

Likh pursed his lips as he watched her go. What was she up to?

“So what’d you wanna know?” the man asked, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his tunic and rocking back on his heels.

Likh suddenly lost all sense of thought. He quickly darted his eyes around the shop until they landed on the strange contraption sitting in the middle of the room. “Erm…is that where you spin your hearts?”

Khalad stared at the machine for a moment and then threw his head back and laughed deeply. “_Spin_…my hearts?”

He felt like his face was on fire. “I…I just meant…”

“No, no…I _know_ what you meant…It just sounded funny for some reason…” the man said, rubbing his eyes. “You’re a funny kid, you know?”

Likh didn't think his face could get any hotter, but clearly the apprentice was proving him wrong.

“This is what I use to _forge_ heartglass…” Khalad said, resting his hand on the giant wooden spoke. “Though, I can certainly see its resemblance to a spinning wheel.”

Likh felt a bit less stupid and childish, but he certainly didn’t appreciate the man calling him a “kid”.

“And how does it work, exactly?”

“Well, it’s a bit complicated to explain,” Khalad said, chewing on his bottom lip—something he seemed to be frequently doing—and crossing his arms.

“Because it’s top secret?”

The man chuckled and shook his head.

Likh pursed his lips, his face reddening yet again.

“No…it’s not a _secret_…it’s just that most of the work isn’t exactly _tangible_…I use magic to weave the memories together into a new heartglass. Most of the work is unseen…the machine is just there for guidance.”

“Oh.”

Khalad turned to face him. “I’ll show you how it works sometime,” he said, his mouth sliding up into a lopsided grin. 

Likh's heart suddenly began to race. He wasn’t used to being smiled at like that and he didn’t know how to take it. His fingers longed to grab hold of his own heartglass, as if it would somehow make the room stop spinning and his nerves stop humming.

As if reading his mind, Khalad’s quick, silver eyes went straight to his chest. He frowned and scrunched his white brows. “I don’t want to pry,” he finally said, "but there’s something not quite right about your heartglass.” And then he moved a step closer.

Likh’s eyes widened as he took a step backwards, clutching at his chest, “It’s fine—really!” he yelped.

But it was clear by the look in the man’s eyes that he didn’t believe him. 

“Who’s hungry?” Tea asked as she burst back into the shop with Fox in tow.

Relief washed over Likh. He didn’t want the apprentice anywhere near his heartglass…or his _heart_ for that matter. The man intuited too much.

Tea cleared some room on the table and they all sat down to eat straight out of the boxes, seeing as there was nothing clean to eat off of.

Khalad did have mint tea—which he seemed to always be brewing—and poured each of them a steaming cupful.

Likh had covertly wiped out the inside of his cup before receiving the liquid. He didn’t think a layer of dust would do anything to enhance the flavor.

To his relief, Khalad never mentioned his heartglass again—much to his relief. Tea prattled on about her duties at the asha-ka and how much she wanted to retaliate against Mistress Parmina for being so cruel and heartless, forcing her to do humiliating chores and ridiculous tasks. Fox told her to be more respectful (though he wore a sly grin as he said it) and Khalad just laughed, not voicing his opinions either way. 

The subject eventually turned to Likh and his work at the _zivar_ shop and he couldn’t help but gush about some of the new, luxurious fabrics and enchanted accessories they’d received as of late. But he stopped talking abruptly and blushed all the way to the tips of his ears when he noticed the apprentice staring at him with a strange expression.

Why was the man always looking at him like _that_? Was he secretly trying to read his heartglass?

~~~

When they finally left, Likh wasn’t sure _how_ he felt about the apprentice. He was a bit scared of him if he was being honest. Khalad seemed to know far too much when he looked at you. It was unnerving. _Unsettling_. Those silver eyes pried right into your very soul…and Likh certainly didn’t want to be analyze—he had far too much to hide.

But even despite his trepidation and fears regarding the man, Likh knew deep down he simply couldn’t stay away.

There was just something about the man that drew him in.

Something that made him want to be brave…something that made him want to be near him, if only just to bask in his glow.

Khalad was like a flame…and he was a moth, dancing recklessly around him.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad smiled at the group as he watched them go. The boy, Likh, glanced back at him before whipping his head back around as if he’d just seen a ghost. He was such a skittish little thing, that much was for certain. And there was definitely something odd about his heartglass. Even though Khalad hadn’t seen it yet, he could sense there was some kind of charm on it concealing its true nature.

But what would a boy like that have to hide, anyway?

Half the people in Kion would give half their _literal hearts_ just to have an ounce of his natural beauty…

Khalad frowned, surprised by his own thoughts.

But it was the truth. It was the first thing he’d noticed about the boy. One couldn’t help it. Looking at Likh’s face was like staring at a picturesque mountain landscape, or an endless field of violets—it simply took your breath away.

The boy was clearly blessed with good genes.

Though, Khalad didn’t really put much stock in that sort of thing. He’d once been told he was _blessed_, too.

_Far from it…_he’d thought at the time. If people only knew his afflictions they wouldn’t be so quick to call him _blessed_…but rather _cursed_.

He felt a dark mood coming on and then suddenly thought of Likh calling his heartforging machine a spinning wheel, and began to smile. “_Is this where you spin your hearts?”_ the boy had asked so innocently, his sapphire-blue eyes questioning…and then his lovely face had turned several shades of red.

He was such a sensitive thing. So touchy.

Khalad also found it amusing that the boy worked in a _zivar _shop—of all places! If Likh only knew how much he detested that sort of thing! The frivolity of it all. Growing up in the palace he was constantly surrounded by shallow people adorning themselves in the latest fashions, turning a blind eye to their impoverished subjects.

He really abhorred nobility.

And yet…

He didn’t feel that way about the boy.

Likh was _pure_ somehow. Untainted. Even though he spent his time dressing asha and pouring over the latest fashions, he seemed to genuinely _enjoy_ it…but not because of the status and power it gave someone…but because he simply admired _pretty things_.

And what was the harm in that?

Khalad rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

This one boy was single-handedly making him question all of his long-held opinions and beliefs on luxury and wealth… 

And then, an unexpected thought occurred to him.

_If anyone should be showered with beauty it’s the boy…he’s so pure…so sweet…He deserves every good and beautiful thing in the world._   


***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A first meeting: "Young Hearts"-COMMUTER


	2. A Fate Not Chosen

***

~Likh~

Likh was so excited about visiting the apprentice again he could barely see straight. More times than once that week Mistress Chess had pulled him from a day-dream as he stared wistfully out the _zivar_ shop window.

He’d thought of more questions to ask the man, even if they did seem ridiculous. Khalad was at least _patient_ with his ignorance_—_in fact, he found it downright _amusing_. And even though it made Likh blush, he determined to keep asking questions, just to have the apprentices’ attention.

“You’re in an awfully good mood…” Tea said, shooting him a sideways glance as they walked down the shop-lined street, and for once, Fox wasn’t joining them—he was too busy practicing his fighting skills with the local soldiers.

“Yeah, I guess,” he responded, biting into his lip so as not to grin like a buffoon.

“Is it because of Khalad?”

Likh sputtered. “Erm…no…I mean…”

“You’re fascinated by what he does?”

“Yes!” he said a little too quickly. “I’ve never met a Heartforger before…It’s all so _interesting and foreign…_” he trailed off, not sure if he sounded at all convincing.

“Well I know he likes the company…his job certainly is a lonely one…” she said frowning.

“Do, um, Heartforgers never marry?” he asked, blushing as soon as he’d said it.

“No, I don’t think so…the current Heartforger didn’t…and I’ve never heard of one that has. They’d have no spare time, _or energy_, to give to someone else…Kind of sad really…they spend their entire lives making hearts for others, but don’t have time for their own…”

Likh frowned.

It _was_ a sad existence.

He instantly felt bad for Khalad...Heartforging was his lot in life, whether he wanted it or not. And he could certainly identify with being something you hadn’t chosen…and being completely powerless to change it.

“I guess his fate is no different than a Dark asha…” Tea murmured. “Maybe that’s why we get on so well.”

Likh nodded in agreement but continued to frown. It had never occurred to him that Tea and the apprentice were so similar in their fates. He furrowed his brows, practically feeling his heartglass turn a deep, emerald green.

Jealousy.

Were Tea and Khalad _more_ than friends?

He quickly analyzed everything he’d ever seen and everything she’d ever said and came up with nothing. The pair didn’t seem the least bit interested in each other in _that_ way. Tea was much too busy mooning over Prince Kance…and Lord Kalen was much too busy mooning over Tea—though that was another matter entirely. Tea was completely oblivious to the Deathseeker’s interest in her. She clearly didn’t understand that his constant anger and annoyance in her presence meant that he actually _liked_ her. It was yet another strange trait of the male species that Likh never understood.

They finally arrived at the Heartforger’s shop with his mood having dropped considerably. He didn’t know why, but it greatly concerned him that Khalad was doomed to a lonely life. To be so young and already have your future mapped out…Your destiny chiseled in stone. Just as Tea did with being a Dark asha. It wasn’t fair and he started to feel very angry.

“Hi!” Khalad said cheerfully, opening the door.

_He’s washed his hair, hasn’t he? It looks shinier than normal, _Likh thought, studying the man with narrowed eyes. Khalad seemed much more energetic than usual as well.

“Back again!” Tea said, walking into the shop.

Khalad peered down at him for a moment and then hesitated, clearly picking up on his sullen mood. “You okay?” he asked quietly, leaning towards him.

Likh blinked up at him and then nodded, unable to speak. He walked straight into the shop, following Tea to the infamous stool. 

Khalad shot him another quick, curious glance and then shut the door and walked over to Tea, rolling up his sleeves. 

Likh walked around the room silently, wanting to touch everything in sight but abstaining. He stopped for a moment and stared at a beautiful porcelain bowl on the bookshelf. He’d never noticed it before. Tiny, fuchsia rosebuds were painted along the rim amidst ornate, gold detailing. It looked very delicate and valuable, and very out of place in the dusty shop. He desperately wanted to run his fingertip across the cool porcelain, but yet again, abstained.

“Likh.”

He whipped around, his heart racing. 

“I have something for you,” the apprentice said with a kind smile.

Likh walked forward, confused, and watched as the man plucked a dusty bottle from a top shelf.

“Here, take a whiff of this,” Khalad said, holding the bottle out towards his face_. _Khalad pulled the stopper and suddenly Likh was transported. He felt as if he were standing on a high hill covered in luscious green grass and swaths of bluebells; the sun warm on his face, the air sweet with possibilities…But then he zoomed out and saw a familiar looking boy with white hair, spinning around on the hilltop with his arms outstretched and a huge grin on his face—_She’ll be so happy…it’s perfect…—_he could hear him saying.

And then the vision faded.

“Wh-what was that?” Likh asked, blinking his eyes open.

“Happiness,” Khalad said serenely, a wistful, distant expression in his silver eyes.

“But it was _you_…”

The man laughed, his broad shoulders shaking as he did. “Am I really so somber you thought I could never be happy?”

“Well…no,” Likh replied, feeling himself blush.

“I’m just teasing! And yes, it was me…long ago…and very happy…” he faded off, as if still lost in the memory.

“Where is that place?” Likh couldn’t help but ask. He’d never seen anything so beautiful.

“It’s my secret spot,” Khalad said with a sly grin. “I found it many years ago…located pretty far outside the city.”

Likh wanted to ask him how he found it and who the “she” was he was referring to, but he abstained; he wasn’t ready to look foolish again. But no matter _what_ he said, Khalad always had a way of making him blush.

“Well, at least it made you smile,” the man said, reaching out and gently touching his shoulder.

Likh nearly jumped out of his skin.

Tea cleared her throat and smirked at them. “Well, we should probably be going…don’t want to keep you from your work.”

Likh's heart dropped. He wasn’t ready to leave just yet, he hadn’t even gotten to his questions. He’d been too busy sulking over the apprentice’s bleak fate.

“Wait,” Khalad said, “I’ve got time…Likh might have more questions.”

Tea’s brows raised slightly, as did Likh's, except he wore more of an expression of panic rather than surprise.

_Questions…questions…what were those questions?!_

The long list he’d been compiling over the week had suddenly gone right out the window.

“Maybe you want to know what _these_ are?” Khalad asked, pointing to the same high shelf from whence he’d retrieved his happy memory; it held an assortment of glass bottles, each one labeled.

Likh nodded.

“These are all the memories I’ve taken from myself. Because I have a silver heartglass, I can extract memories and they come back. Nothing is lost permanently…unlike how it is for people who have a regular heartglass.”

“But why do you use your own?” Likh asked, feeling stupid as soon as he’d said it.

“Because they’re free…and because they’re helpful when I’m low on stock.”

“Does it make you tired?”

“Sometimes…if I do too much.”

“You’re _always_ doing too much,” Tea sighed.

Khalad smirked at her and then flicked his eyes back to Likh.

Likh felt his pulse quicken. So not only was the apprentice constantly collecting memories and forging new heartglass, he was using his _own_ memories as a means of supply. It was like he was giving away his blood for free in order to sustain the masses.

Likh suddenly remembered his own silver heartglass and felt a pang of guilt for not telling the man about it. Khalad would be able to draw memories from it, and maybe even lighten the load on himself.

But he wasn’t ready to go there yet…maybe never. He still couldn’t believe Tea so willingly opened her memories to the apprentice…even if he was the “sole of discretion”…Discrete or not, Likh was not about to share his memories of Khalad _with Khalad_.

“What’s _this_ thing?” Tea asked, picking up a circular device like a small wheel with a strange symbol etched into the very middle.

“That’s…well…how do I explain? I use it for extracting difficult memories…the ones that don’t want to be seen,” Khalad said.

“But I thought you could access anything?”

“No…not always…not if they’re buried extremely deep. I use this device as a sort of compass…it helps guide me to the memory I’m looking for and pull it out. Once it’s trapped, I can distill it in a bottle.”

“Fascinating!” Tea said with half an air of amusement and half an air of interest.

Khalad chuckled and turned to look at Likh, who was staring up at him in a daze.

“Any more questions?”

“I…think I’m good.”

“Didn’t you have a list?” Tea asked, cocking a brow.

Likh's face flushed and he pursed his lips in annoyance. “I’ll bring it next time.”

He could already feeling Khalad’s laughing eyes on him.

“Well, we better be going…I’m sure Mistress Parmina has already realized I’ve been gone much too long to have picked up her parcel at the _zivar_ shop…Though, if I’m lucky, she’s been napping.”

Likh turned to follow Tea out the door, feeling frustrated and not the least bit satisfied with his visit.

“Wait,” Khalad said rushing forward. “Here,” he said, holding out the bottle. “Take it.”

“But…I can’t…it’s _your_ memory.”

“Sure you can—I can just bottle another…Use it when you’re sad,” Khalad said, moving even closer, his silver eyes flicking down to Likh’s chest where his heartglass was hidden. “Just make sure it doesn’t completely escape the bottle or else you won’t get it back. Memories are skittish like that,” he said with another lopsided grin.

Likh gaped at him for a moment and then reached out hesitantly and took the bottle, their fingers barely grazing as he did, but it was enough to send a jolt of electricity straight through his body. He’d forgotten just how warm the man’s hands were. “Th-thanks,” he stammered, completely baffled by his generosity—which was clearly why the apprentice was so tired all the time…he’d give anything away to anybody if it would make them happy.

Likh suddenly felt childish and selfish for having visited him in such a bad mood. He was inadvertently playing on the man’s compassion.

“Until next time,” Khalad said, nodding his head.

Likh continued to stare at him in awe and then promptly ran out the door and hurried to catch up with Tea.

“She’s going to have my head…I’ll be scrubbing the outhouses all day…” Tea grumbled under her breath.

He fell into stride next to her and gazed down at the bottle in his hand.

“He’s never given _me_ a memory,” Tea said. “He only _takes_ mine.” She elbowed him playfully in the side until he grinned.

“He’s just nice.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“What? He’d give anything to anyone…”

“_You’re_ not just _anyone_…and besides, I’ve never seen him smile or laugh nearly so much as when you’re there.”

Likh's heart sped up. “He’s probably just been smelling his own memories…”

Tea stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing. “You really are funny, you know? He’s not wrong on that account…”

Likh grunted and gripped the bottle tighter, wondering why in the world he was suddenly so amusing to everyone.

_Comical_ had never been one of his more dominant traits.    


***

~Khalad~

Khalad watched the pair go and realized he was still smiling. He couldn’t help himself. There was just something about the boy…he made him feel downright giddy. Which was a _very_ rare thing for him indeed. Until Likh had come around he couldn’t remember the last time he’d properly, _genuinely,_ laughed.

He used to laugh frequently…long ago.

When his mother was still alive.

When life seemed hopeful and wide open.

He absently clutched at his heartglass and held it up; the sea of silver had turned a deep, cobalt blue.

_Sadness._

He sighed, thinking maybe he should uncork some happy memories to cheer himself up, but then he remembered the blissful expression on the boy's face when he’d experienced his own memory, and he didn’t have to.

_That sweet face should always be smiling,_ he thought, his lips sliding up into a grin.

***

~Likh~

Several more weeks passed and Likh continued to visit the Heartforger’s apprentice every time that Tea went. Rain or shine.

He was finally starting to feel more comfortable, even though he still blushed continuously, and sometimes had a hard time forming a sentence when the man looked directly at him. But he didn’t feel quite as nervous, though, and was at least able to carry on a conversation.

And he felt ridiculous, but he even tried to do little things to let Khalad know that he _really_ liked him. Which was for him, a huge feat. He’d never put himself out there so much before…but he couldn’t help it, the man made him do reckless things—like holding his gaze for longer than was necessary, smiling at him every chance he got, and even one time, handing him a bottle he’d been searching for. But his boldest move to date was taking the man’s spectacles off the table and carefully wiping them clean with his tunic. If Khalad couldn’t see how he felt about him from _that_ gesture, then the man was truly blind.

But even despite all his efforts it seemed that the apprentice still only saw him as the same, “funny kid” he’d met so many weeks ago.

What else could he do to prove his feelings?

~~~

Likh had nearly chewed off the tip of the hairpin before he’d realized what he’d done. He held the plain accessory between his fingers and frowned, the silver metal completely mangled at the end.

“Have you taken to eating your accessories now? Is that the new trend in Kion?” Tea asked with a bemused smile.

“No…” Likh replied, embarrassed, quickly slipping the pin in his pocket and blushing.

“Runeberry for your thoughts?” she asked, as she was being poked and prodded by the dress-maker, Rahim.

“Hold still, _uchenik_!” the enormous, hairy man chided.

She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily as he wove more pins into the magenta satin fabric draped across her chest.

“Oh, it’s nothing…I was just thinking…” Likh said, trying to keep his fingers busy as he fiddled with more hairpins.

“About?” she coaxed.

“How do you let someone know when you’re interested in them? I mean, what if you’ve tried _everything_ you can think of and they’re still not getting it? And you’re starting to wonder if you’re too subtle or maybe you’re just barking up the wrong tree…”

When Likh stopped to take a breath he noticed that Tea and Rahim were both gaping at him.

His face burned scarlet.

“Ouch!” Tea yelped.

“Sorry, _uchenik,_” Rahim chuckled as he removed a pin from her dress. “Don’t bleed on the satin…Mistress Parmina will have both our heads…”

“Likh, you’re talking about Khalad, right?”

Likh sputtered, his eyes widening to the size of saucers. Was his crush on the man really so obvious?

“Look, you’re not too subtle…it’s just that he’s _exceptionally_ dense. Maybe if you were an actual heartglass he’d be able to read your signals…though, even then he’d probably just chalk it up to an irregular palpitation..."

“So what do I do?”

“Well, the problem is not what you’re doing or not doing…it’s that he hasn’t realized what’s right in front of him…” she trailed off, looking to the shop door.

Lord Kalen had suddenly appeared, his solid black uniform and stiff posture completely out of place in the lavish, colorful boutique. The man froze when he saw Tea standing on the pedestal, her bare midriff completely exposed as Rahim meticulously placed pins down her back.

“Maybe I should come back another time,” Kalen said in a strangled voice, quickly averting his eyes. Yet he seemed to be in no real hurry to leave, Likh observed.

“What is it?” Tea asked, her voice full of worry. “Is it Prince Kance? Does he want to see me?”

Kalen’s face flushed and Likh couldn't help but notice the quick shots of red and green flare up in the Deathseeker’s silver heartglass. Anger and jealousy.

“No, it’s not about Kance,” he said stiffly.

“Then what is it?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips and then yelping when she stuck herself with the pins.

“_Uchenik!_” Rahim growled.

“I’m sorry!” she hissed. “What is it then?” she pressed.

Kalen briefly flicked his brown eyes in her direction and then looked back down at his boots, swallowing hard. “I just came to tell you that I won’t be available to practice today…”

“Oh…well you could have just sent a message…you didn’t have to come all the way here.”

Flecks of red appeared in the Deathseeker’s heartglass again, and as if noticing that Likh was watching, he quickly tucked it inside his uniform. “Consider the message delivered then,” he snapped, clenching his hands into fists and stalking out the door. 

“He is _so_ moody, I swear…” Tea said, shaking her head and tucking a strand of raven hair behind her ear. “Anyway, where were we, Likh?”

Likh couldn’t help but smirk, thinking to himself, _Khalad’s not the only one who can’t see what’s right in front of them._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Growing mutual interest: "WILD"-Troye Sivan


	3. Awakening

***

~Khalad~

Khalad nearly cracked another heartglass when there was a knock on his shop door.

He stood up and pushed his spectacles on top of his head, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He’d been working through the night trying to get caught up on orders.

_Who would be calling this early in the morning? _he wondered._  
_

And when he pulled the door open, his breath caught.

It was Likh.

And he was alone.

“Um, hi…” the startled boy said, fiddling with his hands and averting his blue eyes to the ground, causing his long lashes to brush the tops of his cheekbones.

Khalad stared at him for moment, his mouth suddenly going dry and his heart rate accelerating. He cleared his throat.

“Hi,” he rasped back.

Likh had never come to visit him alone; he’d only ever accompanied Tea. Why did the thought of being so alone with the boy suddenly make him so nervous?

“I’m sorry to bother you…you look busy…I’ll just go—” Likh said, starting to turn away.

“Wait!” Khalad yelped, rubbing at his throat. “Don’t go…I mean, was there something you needed?”

“Oh…well, Tea was going to come by later to give more memories…after she’s done with her lessons, that is. Will that work for you?”

“Of course. I’ll be here,” he sighed, knowing he would be sacrificing his rest, _yet again._

Likh fidgeted with his hands and stared up at him with furrowed brows. “Um…you look exhausted…can I make you some tea while I’m here?” he asked, his cheeks instantly coloring.

Khalad’s eyes widened.

“That...would be nice…” he finally said, a sense of relief and gratitude washing over him. No one ever offered to help him.

He held open the door and let Likh in, getting a dizzying whiff of jasmine and honeysuckle as the boy walked by. He inhaled deeply, letting the calming, sweet scent linger in his nose a while longer as a smile slowly crept up his tired face.

_Why does that scent seem so familiar?_

Khalad watched in surprise as Likh went straight to the copper kettle and began making the preparations for tea, and then he flushed with embarrassment when he realized just how filthy the place was. Stale baked goods and dirty tea cups cluttered the table, and a thick layer of dust blanketed nearly every surface in the room.

“This place is a mess,” he sighed, shuffling towards the boy. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry—you’re using all your time and energy to help other people…that’s nothing to be sorry for…”

Khalad's shoulders drooped. 

“Did you work all night _again_?”

“Uh, yes,” he stammered, surprised Likh seemed so familiar with his irregular sleep patterns. Then again, everyone pretty much knew he was sleep deprived. But he felt a strange sense of pleasure in the way the boy acted so familiar with him…almost like they were friends, which perhaps they were.

“It’s a bad habit of yours,” Likh said with a slight smirk, sounding just like Tea, and glancing up at him as he hung the teapot over the crackling fire. “You need more rest…”

“I know,” Khalad replied, sitting down on his stool. “It’s just…Master left me with so much work…and I intend to have it finished by the time he returns…but I’m running out of time,” he sighed, watching as Likh delicately washed two tea cups in the sink, his slim fingers so careful with the ceramic.

“You can only do so much…” the boy sighed, turning to look at him, his cheeks rosy. He set the cups on a towel and pulled his ponytail over his shoulder, nervously running his fingers through the dark, silken hair.

Khalad narrowed his eyes at him as a strange, warm feeling began to bloom in his lower belly. He pursed his lips and looked away.

Likh turned his back to him and busied himself once more with tidying. “Do you have anything fresh to eat?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Mmm, probably not…I haven’t had time to go shopping," he replied, squeezing his thighs with his hands and hanging his head.

“How about I go and get us some breakfast then?” Likh asked cheerfully, turning back around.

“Sure,” Khalad replied, sitting up and shrugging his shoulders, finding himself returning the boy’s infectious grin. “I can pay you back…but not today…” he said, his face falling.

The Heartforger would most certainly scold him for all the free work he’d been doing, but he couldn’t help it. He simply couldn’t deny someone in need.

“Don’t worry about it—it’s my treat!” the boy said, grinning broadly before practically skipping out the front door.

Khalad watched him go with an air of amusement—or at least what he could _see_ of him through the filthy window.

He felt a strange pain in his chest and glanced down at his heartglass, immediately noticing the peculiar flecks of pink again. Maybe his lack of sleep was making his emotions erratic, he thought with a frown, rubbing his thumb over the smooth, domed glass surface.

What felt like only minutes later, Likh returned, proudly carrying two paper boxes and still wearing a grin from ear to ear, his blue eyes sparkling.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got an assortment of things,” the boy said, setting the brown boxes down on the table. “Are there any plates?”

“Oh, um in the cabinet…” Khalad replied.

He cringed as Likh took them down and blew a thick layer of dust off each one, thinking his shop might as well be sitting in the sands of Drycht—at this point, one couldn’t tell the difference.   


The boy merely chuckled to himself and then happily scrubbed the wooden plates with soap and water. “I think what you really need is a _servant_…”

“As if I could _afford_ one,” Khalad muttered, running his hands back through his hair exasperatedly.

“I don’t mind helping out,” Likh replied as he gracefully placed some _paloodeh_ on a plate, his hands mesmerizing to watch. “I’ve got a lot of free time.”

“You are _not_ going to be my servant!” Khalad sputtered.

“Well at least let me help you out when I can? Or else I’ll go mad in that _zivar_ shop with nothing to do…there’s only so many times you can count hairpins or tell someone,_ ‘that necklace goes lovely with your complexion’,_ before going insane.”

Khalad smiled, completely taken aback by how animated and talkative Likh was acting. The boy was normally so reserved and shy…barely able to look at him, much less speak to him.

“Alright, if it helps you from going _insane_…then I guess it’s okay.”

And since when did Likh _not_ enjoy playing with accessories and talking about fashion?

“Good!” Likh said, beaming, as he reached out for the copper tea kettle. “AHHH!” he yelped, suddenly jerking his hand back and clutching it to his chest as a look of horror crossed his face.

Khalad sprung towards him, snatching his hand between his own and holding it protectively, wincing when he saw the pained expression on the boy’s face.

“I…I forgot to use the cloth,” Likh said in a strangled voice, his sapphire eyes brimming with tears.

Desperate to make things better, Khalad carefully unfurled the boy’s delicate fingers, exposing an angry red welt right down the center of his small palm, and without even thinking, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it, closing his eyes as he did. A sudden jolt of heat shot straight from his navel to his heart, spreading out like warm honey across his chest.

Time seemed to stand still. 

Eventually Khalad opened his eyes and realized what he’d done. He quickly pulled back, looking down at the boy in complete shock as his heart beat out of control.

Likh blinked up at him slowly with wide, shocked eyes and swayed slightly on his feet.

“Maybe you should sit down,” Khalad said, gripping him tightly by the shoulders and practically setting him on the stool. He had to turn away from him for a moment just to catch his breath, and when he glanced down at his own heartglass, he was shocked to see pulsing swirls of violet.

“I’ll see if I have some ointment,” he nearly choked, walking over to a wooden cabinet and beginning to rummage through an assortment of dusty bottles.

_What just happened? _he kept asking himself, taking shallow breaths.

_Why did I have to kiss his hand?!_

_***_

~Likh~

Likh sat perched on the Heartforger’s stool, unable to feel anything, much less the throbbing pain in his hand. He’d nearly left his body when the man’s mouth had made contact with his bare skin. There were no words to describe what he’d felt at the intimate and unexpected gesture. A million bolts of lightening didn’t hold a candle to the fire now pulsating through his veins.

He watched in a daze as the apprentice searched for a remedy in his cabinet, seeming to knock over every bottle he touched.

_Why is he acting so jumpy? _he wondered.

Likh unfurled his fingers and peered down at his hand, observing the red welt on his palm. He’d burn himself again, he thought, just to get the same reaction from the man.

“Here,” Khalad said, clearing his throat. “This should help…Master got it from a healer in Odalia,” he said, holding up a small glass jar. He then scooped out a dollop of milky, iridescent gel from the container and hesitated before placing it on his skin. “May I?” he asked, his face solemn.

Likh's heart momentarily stopped. “Y-yes,” he managed to get out, his breathing quick and ragged. He closed his eyes and held very still as Khalad gently rubbed the ointment into his palm; it smelled of eucalyptus and mint and had a wonderful, cooling sensation that instantly removed the heat and pain.

“That feels…nice,” he sighed, fluttering his eyes open, only to find the man’s silver-grey ones staring right back at him, his expression unreadable and intense.

Likh gulped but continued to stare back.

The apprentice eventually averted his eyes and stepped backwards. He then took hold of the hem of his tunic and deftly ripped off a strip of the worn, grey fabric.

Likh’s mouth fell open.

“Here,” Khalad said, carefully taking hold of his hand again and wrapping the fabric strip gently around his palm. He finished by tying it in a small knot.

“Th-thank you.”

“No problem,” Khalad replied, his eyes shining. “_I’ll_ get the tea,” he said, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

Likh blushed and nodded, “That might be safer.”

Khalad carefully held the teapot with a cloth and poured the steaming brew into two black ceramic cups on the table.

Likh sat down, quietly taking the rest of the breakfast pastries out of their boxes and putting them onto the plates. He was so nervous now he didn’t think he could eat anything. His stomach was trembling almost as much as his hands.

“How’s the hand?” Khalad asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from him.

“Much better… thank you,” he murmured, unable to meet his eyes.

“You better help me eat all this or I’m afraid it might go stale…” Khalad said with a low chuckle. “I can be pretty wasteful with food…I just don’t make time for it…” he said, biting into a piece of fried bread.

“I’ll do my best,” Likh said shyly, picking up his tea cup and blowing on the hot liquid. He immediately relaxed as he inhaled the familiar, minty scent. Unable to resist, he peeked up at Khalad from beneath his lashes, and was once again startled to find the man staring right back at him, with the same, unnerving intensity in his silver eyes. 

Likh grinned and looked away sheepishly.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad didn’t know why, but he was in such an exceptionally happy mood for the rest of the day—he didn’t even care how behind he was on his orders! He even hummed while he worked—something he was _never_ prone to do!

Tea would be coming by that night to share her memories, accompanied most likely by Fox, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Likh would be coming with her, too. He hoped so, because after the boy had left that morning, it had occurred to him that he could take away his painful memory of burning his hand. He wanted to do something nice for him. The boy did bring him breakfast and tidy up his place after all…it was the least he could do.

And a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder what Likh’s heartglass looked like…He’d never actually seen the thing yet and was itching to get his hands on it. The boy was always so careful to keep it tucked inside his tunic. But some people were like that, especially around a Heartforger; they didn’t want their feelings put on display in front of someone who could so easily decipher them. And Likh was a very shy and private person, so his secrecy was understandable.

***

~Likh~

Likh had a very difficult time focusing on hairpins and accessories for the rest of the day. Every time he glanced at his bandaged hand he couldn’t stop grinning. He determined to save the fabric strip forever, cherishing the fact that Khalad had torn it from his very own tunic and so carefully wrapped it around his hand. And every time he remembered how the man’s mouth had felt pressed against his palm, he blushed fiercely and felt hot all over.

_His lips…touching my skin…_

He shivered.

Surely the gesture was a sign of the apprentice’s affection for him…one didn’t respond like that when just _anyone_ hurt themselves. Though, maybe he’d simply kissed him as you would a very young child who’d fallen down and scraped their hand…to soothe them and prevent them from crying. The man did seem much older than he was after all; he didn’t know by how much…only that the apprentice was a _man_ in every sense of the word…tall, broad shouldered, deep-voiced, strapping in all the right places…a thing of beauty.

Likh gazed out the shop window, remembering what it had felt like when Khalad gripped him firmly by his shoulders; the man’s large, capable hands holding him up as if he were nothing more than a feather. He sighed wistfully and wondered if having _strong hands_ was a common trait in all Heartforgers. And _warm hands_, too…and mesmerizing, silver eyes and hair that shone like a star…and a lopsided smile that stopped your heart and—

“Likh? Have you finished gathering that list of accessories Lady Shadi requested?” the proprietress, Mistress Chesh, hollered from the back of the _zivar_ shop.

“I’m working on it!” he yelped, jumping to his feet and quickly shoving down all fiery thoughts that threatened to consume him.

He’d been burnt enough for one day.

***

~Khalad~

“Hi, Khalad! I’m here to give away my memories,” Tea said playfully.

Khalad smiled at the girl and nodded at Fox who was standing a few feet behind her. “Come in,” he said, craning his neck out into the street after they’d walked inside.

“Expecting someone else?” Tea asked.

“Erm, no…I just thought maybe Likh would come with you.”

Tea broke into a grin and perched on the stool. “No, I think he ended up having a lot of work to do today…Lady Shadi is re-vamping her entire wardrobe on orders from Mistress Parmina…and Likh had the very _thrilling_ task of picking out her accessories.”

“Oh,” he said, his face suddenly falling. He guessed it was too much to ask to see the boy twice in one day…though, _why_ it mattered to him so much, he didn’t know.

He went to shut the door but it slammed hard against something on the other side.

“HEY!” someone yelped.

He quickly swung it open again, his heart racing.

But it was only Kalen…glaring daggers at him and rubbing his forehead.

“What was that for?” the Deathseeker hissed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Khalad snapped, moving back and letting him walk inside. “Maybe if you didn’t skulk around in the shadows, wearing all black from head to toe…” he muttered.

“I do not _skulk!_” Kalen growled.

The Deathseeker looked up and stared at Tea and Fox at the other end of the room who were watching him curiously. “Oh,” he said, “I didn’t realize you had customers…”

But Khalad had the very distinct impression that _they_ were the reason he’d come.

“We won’t be here long,” Tea said, throwing a wave of dark hair over her shoulder and shooting her brother a knowing smirk.

“Then I’ll wait,” Kalen snapped, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

“Did you lose to her in another fight?” Khalad asked dryly, walking over to Tea and rolling up his sleeves.

“Right,” Kalen scoffed, drumming his fingers on the table.

Tea pursed her lips and sat up straighter on the stool. “I got in a few good points,” she sniffed.

“Well a few _good_ _points_ aren’t gonna save your life…” Kalen muttered.

“Kalen, if you’re going to be a distraction—I’m going to need you to wait outside, please!” Khalad barked, his heartglass flaring crimson for a moment; the sudden outburst catching him completely by surprise. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Kalen hissed with wide eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Did you actually _buy_ food?” the Deathseeker asked sarcastically, poking the paper box of leftovers on the table with his finger.

“No…Likh brought that this morning,” Khalad replied calmly, looking for an empty glass bottle and desperately trying to control his emotions. 

“Oh, yes, he mentioned something about that!” Tea said brightly. “He burned his hand.”

“It was an accident!” Khalad yelled, feeling his heart rate rise exponentially.

_Does she know that I kissed his hand, too?!_

Now his heartglass was flaming red and pulsating erratically.

“Khalad, _calm down_,” Kalen said flatly, darting his eyes to his heartglass and raising his brows.

He hastily shoved the necklace inside his tunic and huffed. “Let’s just get your memories, Tea,” he said, moving closer to her and squeezing the bottle tightly in his hand.

“Have your pick,” she said, shooting Kalen a quick, pointed glance.

The Deathseeker frowned and continued to drum his fingers impatiently on the table. 

Khalad closed his eyes and tried to focus, willing Tea’s memories to open to him. He knew he needed a memory of fear and one of confusion, but the memory that came to him was of neither.

_—He was one of the loveliest boys I had ever met…clad in the simple frock…he had long lashes and a gently rounded face…eyes of the brightest blue, a magnificent compliment to his tanned skin…his long hair tied back in a neat ponytail…—_

Khalad froze.

He opened his eyes to find Tea staring at him quizzically, obviously feeling the same memory he’d just been looking at. He cleared his throat and quickly flicked the silver wisp into the empty bottle with his finger, still feeling her gaze boring into his head. 

“That’s all for now,” he rasped.

“Are you sure?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him. “I have plenty more like that, I’m sure…”

He nervously looked up at Fox, who’s mouth twitched slightly, and then over to Kalen, who was watching them with mild curiosity.

“No, that’s all I need,” he said stiffly, shoving the cork into the bottle and absently setting it amongst his collection…as if it hadn’t just become the single-most prized memory he’d ever collected.

“Well that was quick,” Tea said, hopping off the stool and smoothing down her _hua_. “I guess we should be off then…wouldn’t want to break curfew." She grinned mischievously up at Fox. 

“Like that’s ever stopped you before,” Kalen muttered.

“Have you been _skulking_ in the shadows again?” she teased.

He glared at her, crossing his arms over his broad chest, his dark eyes narrowing.

“We’ll see you later, Khalad,” Tea said with a grin before walking out the door, Fox following close on her heels.

Kalen stood up quickly and adjusted his uniform.

“I thought you needed to see me about something?” Khalad asked, confused.

“Another time,” the Deathseeker snapped before stalking out the door.

Khalad watched out the window as Kalen trotted up to Tea and Fox, quickly matching their stride, probably saying he’d been summoned back to headquarters and might as well accompany them.

How smooth.

Khalad sighed and walked back to where the bottles were, trailing his fingers over the cork tops. It wouldn’t hurt to just look at that memory again…and maybe even put a special label on it…and hide it in the back of the cabinet for safe keeping.

He gulped and picked up the bottle.

***

~Likh~

Likh was stuck working in the _zivar_ shop for several days. It was driving him mad that he wasn’t able to go and visit Khalad, but the_ darashi oyun _was swiftly approaching, and everyone within a hundred mile radius was busy perfecting their wardrobe for the grand event.

And before and after work he’d been busy secretly practicing his different dances…though, performing at the event didn’t seem nearly as thrilling or appealing as being in the company of the Heartforger’s apprentice.

He wondered if Khalad had even stopped to eat anything since his last visit. Someone needed to make sure he was taking care of himself.

“Likh!” Tea said, walking into the shop.

“Tea!” he exclaimed, rushing towards her excitedly, throwing decorum to the wind.

“I have something to tell you,” she said, her grey eyes lighting up. She took his arm and led him to a corner of the room.

“Someone’s been asking for you…”

“Who?” he asked, scrunching his face.

“Who do you _think_?” she scoffed.

“Khalad?” he whispered, his heart beating faster.

“Yes!”

“What did he say?”

“Well, when I went to his shop a few nights ago, he nearly broke his neck craning it out the door, looking for _you_…and he was _very_ disappointed you weren’t with me…”

Likh slowly started grinning, “Really?”

“Yes, really! And Fox said he went by yesterday and Khalad was in a _terrible_ mood! Accidentally shattered a dozen memories on the floor!”

“And that’s a _good_ thing?”

“Of course! It means he’s _miserable_ without you!”

“Oh…”

“I don’t know what happened that day you visited him alone, but whatever it was…I think it just might have finally woken him up,” she said, clasping her hands together and grinning.

“Yeah, maybe…” he trailed off, absently playing with his hair. “I don’t want him to be miserable though…”

“Oh, Likh! Love _is_ misery!” she said patting him on the shoulder. “Get used to it.”

He grimaced, suddenly thinking of Lord Kalen and how angry he was all the time when he was in Tea’s presence. Is that what love looked like? Irritation and a crimson heartglass? He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it, feeling it wasn’t his place to bring up the subject, especially since he was only going off a hunch. 

“But I don’t know when I’ll be able to get away and see him again…” he whined. “I’m swamped here until the _darashi oyun_. Do you think he’ll come to it?” he asked hopefully.

“I’m not sure…he doesn’t leave his shop very often and he definitely doesn’t go to social events. But maybe he could make an exception…does he know you’re dancing?”

“I haven’t mentioned it…” Likh said blushing.

“Do you want me to?”

“I don’t know…” he said biting his lip. “I’m afraid if I knew he was there I might mess up…”

“Don’t worry about it then,” she said, resting her hand on his shoulder. “Whether he knows or not, I won’t tell you…so just assume he won’t be there.”

“Huh?”

“Just dance your heart out and pretend he’s not there,” she said with a laugh. “Well, I better be going…If I’m late for practice I’m sure Kalen will find yet another way to give me a beating.”

Likh nodded, sighing heavily as he watched her go and thinking that if _love was misery, _he would surely be miserable for the rest of his days.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad was tired of getting his hopes up.

Clearly, Likh wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Maybe he was swamped at work or maybe the boy was appalled that he’d actually _kissed his hand_.

He wasn’t sure what to think, only that he was going insane stuck in his shop, bottling memories and forging heartglass day after day. It never used to bother him so much before…What had changed? He felt he needed to get out and _do something_, or he was liable to break every bottle within reach.

He was already off to a great start.

One thing he knew for sure, though, if a memory could fade due to_ frequency of observation_ he was certain the memory he’d taken from Tea would have shown signs of wear and tear by now…But the memory was just as vivid, and just as captivating each time he uncorked the bottle.

He preferred Tea’s memory even to his own because it was so pure, so untainted by his own impressions. And besides, Likh barely ever stared directly at him anyway. In every memory he had of him the boy was probably looking at the floor.

If the Heartforger saw what he’d been doing with a memory he’d probably fire him, or at least give him a good smack on the head.

Khalad didn’t know what had gotten into him, only that this new _infatuation_ with Likh spelled trouble. It was certainly affecting his work. But he refused to cross the line and admit that his growing feelings for the boy were anything more than keen interest, possibly bordering on obsession.

There was a knock on the door and he whipped his head up, a surge of hope shooting through him.

But it was only Lady Tea.

“Back again?” he asked, furrowing his brows.

“Erm, not to give memories,” she said, stepping into the room. “But to bring you lunch.” She smiled and held up a brown paper box.

“Thanks." He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Can’t an asha make sure her good friend is well nourished?”

Khalad pursed his lips and opened the box, the sweet smell of fried bread and dumplings hitting him in the face and making his stomach growl.

“So are you going to the _darashi oyun_?” she asked airily, swiping a line of dust off the table with her fingertip.

“No, why?”

“Oh, well…I just figured since, you know…_Likh is dancing_ and all…that you’d be there.”

“What?!”

“You didn’t know?” she asked with wide eyes.

“No…I had no idea…but he’s…I mean, he can’t—"

“Well he’s going to _try_ all the same…” she said with an air of determination.

Khalad was at a complete loss for words.

He knew Likh was knowledgeable about the ancient dances, that he had an avid interest in the subject every time it was brought up in conversation…but the boy had never once mentioned that he himself danced, or that he had a desire to dance at the _darashi oyun_…a tradition that only asha were allowed to participate in.

Tea smirked at him and crossed her arms.

“But how can he? He’s not an asha…he can’t make runes…”

“I guess there’s a lot about him you don’t know…” she said, a satisfied grin sliding up her face.

“Clearly…” he breathed, his mind racing.

_Does Likh have a silver heartglass, too? Is that why he always keeps it hidden?_

“Well I just wanted to see if you were going…” she said, backing towards the door. “I’m sure Prince Kance would be happy to see you! He’ll be there as well…It’s Saturday night by the way!” she said flashing a large smile before rushing out the door.

Khalad pulled out a chair from the table, dropped down into it and leaned his head back against the wood.

_So Likh is going to dance…_

He closed his eyes and started to grin.

*** 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love is misery: "FOOLS"-Troye Sivan


	4. Be Brave

_\----------------------_

_“Heart be brave. If you cannot be brave, just go. Love’s glory is not a small thing.”_

_-Rumi_

_\----------------------_

***

~Likh~

Likh felt positively sick to his stomach.

It was one thing to _dream_ about dancing at the _darashi oyun_; it was one thing to _practice _dancing for the _darashi oyun_, but it was another thing entirely to actually _dance_ at the _darashi oyun_. If it weren’t for Tea’s unwavering support and encouragement—as well as Rahim’s and Chesh’s—he wouldn’t have had the courage to do what he was about to do. It was unprecedented…and he had no idea how the people of Kion would respond.

Would they demand for him to be removed from the stage? Shame him into a life of eternal hiding?

He swallowed hard and smoothed down his black _hua. _Rahim had really outdone himself with the exquisite garment. Intricate white roses with gold-rimmed petals spilled down the side of the luxurious fabric. It was subtle compared to the extravagant and colorful _hua_ that most asha wore, but it was his _very first,_ and exactly what he'd always dreamed of.

He gently petted a white rose with his palm and smiled serenely.

_My very own hua._

The crowd applauded and brought him back to his senses. He peeked out from behind the red velvet curtains and squinted his eyes. It was a full house. He would be dancing in front of royals and nobility…and possibly even _Khalad_.

He still didn’t know if the apprentice would be there or not. Tea had promised that she wouldn’t tell him either way so he wouldn’t be made even more nervous. Half of him prayed he wasn’t there…but the other half prayed that he was…After the performance maybe he could at least _see_ Khalad—get a smile from him or a wave.

Though the apprentice was so excruciatingly reserved in public, both seemed unlikely. Likh had once met up with him in the village, when he and Tea had been on there way to meet him, and the man acted like a completely different person, barely speaking at all and constantly looking around nervously. The chances of him actually leaving his shop to come to a spectacle like this were slim to none.

“It’s your turn!” a young asha with dark red hair and a bright blue _hua_ said as she slipped through the curtains. “Or have you lost your nerve?” She smirked and cocked a brow.

A fiery wave of heat shot through Likh's veins, all the way up to his surprised, pale face. He pursed his lips and held his chin higher, setting his jaw.

“Never,” he replied, taking a deep breath and pushing the curtain aside.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad felt completely out of place.

What was he doing there anyway? Rubbing shoulders with the very nobility that repulsed him…Everything was just so…_gaudy_. The layers of magic wrapped around the people were simply nauseating.

_Why can’t they just be themselves?_ he wondered with a sigh. _Probably because their true selves are even more repulsive than the glamours they wear._

He walked into the giant, domed theater wearing his simple grey tunic and looked around. It was decorated like a forest with gold-leafed trees lining the walls and ensconcing the stage; vases of fresh white roses stood at the ends of the aisles and silvery crystals hung from the ceiling, resembling the night sky.

The decor was more attractive than the _people_ he thought, as an overly-charmed woman clad in acidic green with a painfully tight face shot him a disdainful glance.

He frowned and looked away.

He heard laughter and froze, instantly recognizing the deep, booming voice of his father, King Telemaine. He couldn’t help but cringe.

Oh how he detested that voice!

How many times had it scolded him for being “unacceptable”, “weak”, and a “complete and utter disappointment to the entire family”? His stomach churned.

Maybe coming to the event was a terrible idea. Why was he there anyway? To see a boy dance? Why did he care? What was Likh to him?

He closed his eyes for a moment and re-played the exact memory he’d now been huffing from a bottle several times a day. Like a deranged person. _Why, why, why?_ he’d asked himself so many times, wanting to pull his hair out. _Why_ had this particular boy gotten so under his skin? So much so that he was willing to leave his safe and comfortable _cave_ and come to _this place _and surround himself with _these people._

He crossed his arms and stood against the wall, refusing to venture further.

Eventually, he spotted the back of his younger brother, Prince Kance’s head; he was sitting next to Princess Maeve, who seemed to be talking his ear off. Khalad wanted to laugh, knowing the lady had no chance with his clueless brother. Kance would be more likely to notice a stack of war manifestos than her. Duty first! And then he noticed his cousin Kalan, clad in black from head to toe, as always, and sitting stoically in his seat, talking to no one and acting as if the entire thing were beneath him.

He continued to strain his eyes across the room.

And then he caught sight of Fox’s bright red hair shining under the glow of the lights, and then, sure enough, he found Tea sitting next to him; her long, dark hair spilling around her shoulders. She seemed to be repeatedly glancing in his brother’s direction.

Of course.

The stage lights suddenly dimmed, turning a deep blue, and several young asha clad in brightly colored _hua_ walked onto the stage and began to dance. People continued to talk quietly and mill about, only half paying attention to the females of varying ages as they tried to prove their talents before the actual show began.

Khalad's heart started to race. Was Likh still going to dance? And if so, how would the people respond? Would they shame him off the stage?

He clenched his jaw at the thought.

_Like hell they will._

After standing there for nearly ten minutes and watching a painful performance of an elderly asha trying to remember the movements for the _Rise of the Sea Foam,_ he was just about to give up on his ridiculous whim, when the sound of drumming filled the room and the stage lights shifted from blue to a vivid red. A hush fell over the crowd and his heart stopped.

It was Likh.

The boy appeared on the stage like a gust of wind. He was clad in a black satin _hua_ decorated with stunning white roses, their iridescent, gold trim shimmering and catching the light. On his head he wore a crown of matching white roses that were woven into his long, silken hair that hung down his back in a ponytail; his cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright, but he looked more determined and sure of himself than Khalad had ever seen him.

The drumming continued and the boy danced gracefully to the center of the stage. The old woman and young asha quickly moved to the side and gaped at him in awe.

Likh was dancing the _Fox Spirit’s Song_, a dance that told the story of a beautiful fox demon who was caught by hunters and forced to dance in order to gain her release.

Khalad knew this dance; he’d always found it enchanting.

But there were no words to describe the way Likh was dancing it…with total abandon and a kind of desperate passion he’d never seen before.

The boy pirouetted and extended out his elegant hand as fire sprung forth on his open palm, causing a collective gasp from the audience.

But all Khalad could think about was that it was the very same palm the boy had burned…the very same one he’d so unabashedly kissed. How ironic that Likh was now dancing with fire as if it were a play-thing.

Likh left the flame suspended in the air and then continued to create more, elegantly drawing Fire runes until he was encircled by a halo of flames; their unruly orange tongues rising up around him and closing him in.

Khalad continued to gawk at him, his heart beating wildly against his chest. He’d never seen anything so captivating.

Finally, the boy finished the dance balanced gracefully on one leg, and then fell dramatically to the ground as the flames surrounding him suddenly extinguished.

There was a deafening moment of silence and then the crowd went wild with people jumping out of their seats, clapping and cheering.

The boy rose to his feet with crimson cheeks and wide eyes as a grinning Lady Chesh rushed out onto the stage and grabbed him by the hand, tugging him away.

Khalad closed his mouth and inhaled, realizing he’d been holding his breath the entire time the boy had danced. His heart was still pounding recklessly against his chest and he felt much too hot, but only one thought came to mind—he had to see him again.

But how could he get backstage? Would Likh think he was mad for pursuing him with such fervor?

But was it really so strange to seek out a friend and congratulate them on their performance?

That’s all he wanted to do after all…wasn’t it?

He licked his lips and blinked rapidly, straining to find an exit door.

*** 

~Likh~

Likh couldn’t believe he’d really done it.

He’d really danced at the _darashi oyun_…

And he hadn’t been shamed or even thrown off the stage…but _cheered_ for. Celebrated. It was better than he ever could have imagined. Maybe now the people would finally see that anyone who wished to dance should be allowed to—and not only that, but to become an _asha_.

Maybe he would finally be allowed to be his _true self_.

He was so giddy and overwhelmed he could barely think straight.

After he’d left the stage, Mistress Chess had hugged him fiercely and then returned to the front of the house to watch the main event with everyone else.

Likh grinned from ear to ear as he made his way out of the backstage area, past asha, getting congratulatory pats on the back and encouraging smiles as he went. He eventually found his way to an empty dressing room and tried to breathe, wishing Tea could have met him after the performance; he knew she’d be so proud, but she was probably still in the audience.

He just needed to collect himself and then he would go back to the stage and watch the dance from behind the curtains. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, willing his nerves to calm down and his breathing to slow.

And when he opened his eyes again and gazed in the mirror, the very last person in the world he’d ever expected to see was standing right behind him.

Khalad cleared his throat.

Likh whipped around and gaped at the man, his eyes huge.

“Hi,” Khalad said in a raspy voice, his face serious and his silver-grey eyes seeming to stare straight through him as if in a daze; he looked positively ashen. 

“Khalad? What are you doing here?” Likh asked, immediately feeling the heat rise up his throat and color his cheeks.

Khalad frowned and held out his hand.

Likh gaped.

The man was holding a single white rose.

“F-for me?” he stammered.

“Yes.”

He reached out with a shaking hand and took the flower, gripping onto the stem for dear life.

What was happening? Was all of this just a dream?

Maybe he really hadn’t danced at all. Maybe he'd just dozed off in the _zivar_ shop, fantasizing about the _darashi oyun_. Because it just wasn’t possible that this was real…Khalad, of all people, finding him backstage and…and giving him a rose…

“You were…amazing,” Khalad said quietly, snapping him out of his frantic thoughts. 

“Thank you,” Likh replied, his heart beating out of his chest.

“Your _hua_…it’s beautiful,” the man remarked, moving a step closer and towering over him.

Likh blinked up at him, his breath catching. 

“Thank you,” he replied again, frozen to the spot.

Khalad peered down at him, chewing on his bottom lip, and reached out his hand, hesitating for a brief moment before running the tip of his finger down the satin fabric and over an embroidered, white rose.

Likh closed his eyes, absolutely positive he was dreaming now, and clung onto the rose in his hand as he swayed slightly on his feet.

And then the man’s strong, warm hands were gripping him by his bare shoulders and holding him steady.

Now, he _truly _felt faint.

“Maybe you should sit down,” Khalad said, grabbing a chair and guiding him to it.

Likh acquiesced and sat down, his hua billowing out around him like an ink blot.

And then in a blink, Khalad was kneeling in front of him, lightly touching his forearms with his fingertips. “Better?” he asked, peering up at him with worried eyes, his full lips pursed.

“I…I think so,” Likh breathed, still trying to get his bearings.

In what world would Khalad ever be _kneeling_ in front of him?

“You’re probably just dizzy from all the dancing,” the man said, a pained expression crossing his face as he stared pointedly down at Likh's hands.

“What is it?” Likh asked, surprised by the sound of his own voice.

“It’s just…” Khalad said, carefully removing the rose from his hand and setting it on the vanity. He held Likh's palm and gently unfurled his fingers, “This was the hand you burnt, isn’t it?”

“Y-yes,” Likh stammered, utterly amazed.

“It didn’t hurt when you made the fire?” Khalad asked, gently running his fingertip over the palm and gazing down at it, his white hair obscuring his face.

“Different kind of fire,” he breathed, feeling light enough to float away.

“Oh, right.”

Khalad continued to stare down at his palm and run his finger gently over the slightly raised welt the burn had left behind.

And Likh had the most bizarre feeling that he was about to kiss his hand again.

As if reading his mind, Khalad abruptly let go and stood up, stepping back by at least a foot. “Well, anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you. You dance…very well,” he said, clearing his throat and standing taller. “I wish you would have told me you danced…or that you could make runes.” 

_His shoulders are so…broad…_Likh thought, gazing up at him, thoughtfully. _Of course they are…he’s a man…_And then he swallowed hard and blinked his eyes. “I guess it just never came up…but thank you…I’m glad you came.”

“You are?” Khalad asked, his tone laced with wonder.

“Of course! You’re my…_friend_,” Likh gulped, regretting the words as soon as they’d left his mouth.

Khalad narrowed his eyes at him and then frowned. “Good…I’m glad we’re…_friends_.”

But the man didn’t _look_ very glad. Likh's stomach tightened. Maybe he’d completely misconstrued the apprentices’ actions. Maybe he’d simply come as a favor to Tea. But then why did he bring him a rose?

Likh stood up and smoothed down his _hua_, now feeling painfully embarrassed. “Well, don’t you want to see the main performance?” he asked, flicking his eyes up.

“That’s not why I came,” Khalad said flatly.

“Oh.”

Heat colored Likh's cheeks again. Was Khalad saying he came just to see him dance then? Surely not.

“Well, I should probably go…Master might return and I wouldn’t want him to find me missing,” Khalad said with a sigh, wringing his large hands and peering down at him with an unreadable expression.

“You’re sure you can’t stay for the performance?”

The music was already playing but he really could have cared less; he was just desperately trying to think of a way to keep the apprentice there…even if just for a few minutes.

“I…can’t” Khalad said in a strangled voice, staring down at him intensely, his pupils so large his eyes looked like two black marbles, encircled by silver half moons.

“Can’t…or won’t?” Likh asked, taking a step closer, completely astonished by his own boldness.

Khalad’s eyes widened considerably and his lips parted.

But before the man could reply, terrified screams ripped through the silence and the very walls of the building shook.

“What’s going on?!” Likh screeched, his eyes darting frantically around the room as dust rained down from the ceiling.

“I don’t know!” Khalad yelled, grabbing hold of his arm and dragging him out the door. “But we aren’t going to stick around and find out!”

A horrific screech pierced the air, louder than the screams of the people, and Likh’s heart stopped.

A _daeva_.

They were being attacked.

Khalad continued to pull him along at break neck speed; down confusing hallways and endless doors, until they finally burst through a back exit and out into an alley way, gasping for air.

The screams of the people were growing louder. But even amidst the chaos, all Likh could think was—_He’s holding my hand! He’s holding my hand!_

He never wanted him to let go.

They ran out into the street and were immediately swept up in the flow of people rushing to get away from the building and heading towards the city gates.

Likh turned back only to see a hideous, serpent-like creature with three heads and a scaly, black body hovering over the top of the crumbling theater. It had yellow eyes and blew fire from its mouth as it beat its wings angrily in the air. 

A black dragon.

“Wait!” Likh screamed, tugging on Khalad’s hand to stop him.

“What?”

“I should go and help!”

“What?!” Khalad yelled, his white hair whipping around his shocked face.

“I should help! I can cast runes!”

“Like hell you will!” the man hissed through gritted teeth, clasping onto his hand even tighter and trying to tug him forward.

The dragon let out a grisly cry and they both froze and gaped up at it, nearly getting trampled by the crowd of people rushing past them.

Khalad quickly pulled him into his chest, shielding him from the onslaught.

The beast flapped its massive wings and threw its head back, a stream of fire billowing up into the sky.

And then there was Tea.

The girl was standing beneath the creature with her hands raised in the air, looking so small and fragile.

“We have to go back!” Likh shouted as he moved to pull away from Khalad’s arms.

The dragon flapped its leathery wings and rose silently into the air as the people down below screamed with terror and ran for cover.

But much to their shock, the _daeva_ flew away—far off into the distance, and eventually out of sight.

“What just happened?” Khalad breathed, still holding onto his hand as he gaped up at the sky.

Likh was too stunned to speak.

The crowd collectively gasped and they both looked down to see Tea, collapsed on the ground in a heap as a flurry of frantic asha rushed towards her.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad watched in horror as Tea’s limp and lifeless body was picked up by her brother, Fox, and carried through the crowds, trailed closely by Polaire and Lady Mykaela. Surely she would be alright. She must have just been drained of her life-force while trying to control the _daeva._

The collapsed theater was still smoking as people stood milling about in their extravagant _hua _and charms, looking completely out of place amongst the wreckage. 

“I should probably go help,” Likh said with wide eyes, his voice barely above a whisper.

Khalad looked down and realized they were still holding hands and quickly let go, though, begrudgingly. “Are you sure it’s safe?” he asked, a pain shooting through his heart at the vision of the boy in any kind of danger. 

“I’ll be fine…the beast is gone. I can at least help them put the fires out with a Water rune,” he said, looking to the ground. “And if there are any injuries, surely I can be of assistance…”

“Likh,” Khalad said, reaching his hands up and gripping him firmly by the shoulders.

The boy looked up at him, his piercing blue eyes causing his breath to hitch.

“Yes?”

“Just be careful, okay?”

The boy stared at him quizzically, narrowing his eyes. “I will.”

“I need to get back to my shop…” Khalad said, internally struggling with the idea of leaving him behind. He had a desperate, almost animalistic urge to protect him at all costs.

_If anything happens to him…_

“I’ll be okay,” Likh said emphatically.

Khalad chewed on his bottom lip and sighed, already trying to think of an excuse for Likh to come back to his shop with him where he could keep him safe. He could ask him to clean it…No, that would sound ridiculous. Maybe he could ask him to make tea? Though the last time he’d let the boy make tea it had ended in disaster…except that he wound up kissing his hand…

There were more shouts as a group of Deathseekers pulled a body from the rubble. The person appeared to be dead.

Khalad grimaced—he hated seeing any kind of pain. He got enough of it extracting memories. And part of him felt terrible for thinking it, but he also knew this tragedy would bring him more customers…people wanting to rid themselves of the terrifying memories. But their memories could be used to forge new heartglass and help someone else…that’s what mattered most to him. He didn’t know how he could ever explain his perspective on the _value_ of negative memories…All emotions were needed to make one whole heart. 

“I’ll see you later,” Likh said, starting to pull away from his grasp and turn towards the sounds of shouting.

The boy was slipping right through his fingers and he started to panic.

“When?” he asked with a sense of urgency.

“I’ll come visit you after my asha testing.”

Khalad's eyes widened.

So the boy was really going through with it…dancing was just the beginning.

His heart sped up.

“Promise?”

Likh gave him a strange look and furrowed his brows. “I promise,” he finally said, and then he pulled away and slipped through the crowds, his silken ponytail swinging down his back. He was still wearing his flower crown.

Khalad felt dizzy. There was too much happening at once. The dragon was the least of his problems. He needed to get back to his shop. He could think better there. Sort out his thoughts. He needed to bottle his own memories and observe them just to better understand himself and his bizarre actions of late.

One thing he was absolutely sure of—he was _drawn_ to the boy.

Like a moth to a flame.

There was just something about him…maybe it was those quiet, blue eyes with their unfathomable depths…those red, rosebud lips…or the passion that flowed out of him when he danced.

_No. It can’t be…It’s not possible…yet, maybe…_

“The heart wants what the heart wants…” he murmured, slipping his way through the crowds. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watching and wanting: "BLUE"-Troye Sivan (feat. Alex Hope)


	5. Something so Right

***

~Likh~

Likh didn’t have time to be thinking about the Heartforger’s apprentice. He needed to be focusing on his upcoming test. He’d been dreaming of this opportunity his whole life and now it was finally upon him. And thanks to the help and encouragement of Tea, Rahim, and Mistress Chesh, he'd been granted an audience with the asha association to plead his case.

He needed to be practicing his dances…studying the history of the original asha and the politics of Kion…_not_ remembering how exhilarating it had felt to _hold Khalad’s hand_…And he definitely should _not_ be thinking about what it felt like to have the man _kneeling_ before him, his eager face upturned, his eyes wide and lips parted…If Likh had been braver he would have just reached out a hand and slipped his fingers right through the man’s dazzling, snowy white hair.

He smiled to himself and blushed at the scandalous thought.

If only…

He opened the drawer to the tiny desk in his small quarters at the back of the _zivar_ shop and pulled out the white rose Khalad had given him. It was dry and shriveled now, but still easily his most prized possession. He kept it right next to the bottle of Khalad’s happy memory and the strip of grey fabric the man had torn from his own tunic. He ran his fingers over the frayed material and smiled wistfully.

Did Khalad have any idea the irresistible and overwhelming effect he had on him? Did the man know that he pined for him constantly? Longed to see his face or hear his laugh in every moment?

His days were full of blush-worthy fantasies and his nights flooded with fever dreams that made his body ache and kept him tossing and turning, desiring things he never thought possible.

Ever since he’d met the apprentice it seemed that _everything_ ached and there was no way to satisfy it.

The man had single handedly lit a match on his body and heart.

And he knew that seeing Khalad—which he hadn’t done since the _daeva’s_ attack at the _darashi oyun—_ would only cause to further inflame him.

He dug his fingers into his hair, tugging frustratedly, and curled in on himself.

Love was madness.

And unreciprocated love was simply _agony_.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He just had to keep going, keep pushing; he’d come too far to give up now. An orphan, left on the steps of a _zivar_ shop, who’d now danced as an asha and was so close to actually being one…He needed to stay focused.

His heart would have to wait.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad dropped a bottle and watched as it shattered to the floor, bits of glass spreading out like blowing sand.

He felt as clumsy as he’d been when his Master had first taken him on as an apprentice. He’d been a complete disaster then. The Heartforger had even said he was hopeless.

And that’s exactly how he felt now…_hopeless_.

It had been too many days since he’d last seen the boy and he felt he was going mad—though he wasn’t exactly sure _why_. All he knew is that he’d feel much less anxious if he could just _see_ him. When was the boy’s asha test, anyway? Had he forgotten his promise? Surely Likh wouldn’t forget a promise. He didn’t seem like the type.

He swept up the glass in a dustpan, deep in thought, and didn’t hear the door to his shop open.

“Still dropping bottles, I see?” a familiar, crackly voice said.

It was the Heartforger.

Khalad gaped up at the short, ancient looking man with the face of a very grey monkey, and then broke into a grin.

The Heartforger looked haggard and even more aged than when he’d left, but he still had the same knowing twinkle in his eye that one couldn’t help but admire.

“Some things never change,” Khalad sighed, dumping the glass into a waste basket. “I’m glad you’re back,” he said with relief, walking towards him and smiling.

The Heartforger chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. “Good to see you, too, Junior.”

***

~Likh~

It was time.

The moment Likh had prepared for.

He was going to be an asha or die trying. He’d never been more determined about anything in his life. If only he could be so brave and bold when it came to his feelings about Khalad. If only Khalad wasn’t so _dense_…

He shook his head, now was _not_ the time for thoughts of the apprentice—nothing would make him lose his focus faster.

Likh was standing before the asha association and he wasn’t alone: Tea, Polaire, and Lady Mykaela stood next to him. He told Tea he was willing to plead his case on his own, but she insisted he have a support group. Secretly, he was very grateful for the company; the elder asha were positively formidable.

Tea spoke first, passionately and eloquently. She implored the council to allow Likh to become an asha but was immediately struck down by the elder women with talk of _tradition_ and how it must be upheld above all else…To which she replied that it wasn’t fair that males who could meet the requirements of becoming an asha should be prevented from doing so. The rest of the elders lashed out, saying it was an insult to the profession and just as ridiculous as a female joining the Deathseekers…For which Polaire chimed in, passionately vying for equal rights, as usual.

Likh's eyes began to glaze over. He wasn’t really hearing anything being said. He was too overwhelmed by the feeling of his life-long dream slipping away from him in a single conversation.

It was glaringly clear—the elder asha were not going to give. Tradition would reign…even despite all his efforts.

And then Lady Mykaela was encouraging him to speak and he felt all the blood drain from his body. He swallowed hard, not sure if he was even capable of making a sound, much less saying something intelligible, and stepped forward with wobbly knees.

But then something in him snapped—this was his moment and he couldn’t waste it! And so he began to speak, the words seeming to spill out from the depths of his being. He talked of how he’d never been like other boys…never desired the things they did or imagined himself as a soldier…instead, he dreamed of dancing and wearing _hua_ and doing rune magic like an asha.

Likh made it clear he was pleading for his _life_ and not simply an opportunity…That he would never make it in the harsh world of the Deathseekers. And lastly, he asked for three months to prove himself.

He stepped back and stared at the ground, waiting for his sentence with trembling hands.

But he didn’t receive one.

The elder asha said they would give him their decision the next day.

Likh didn’t sleep that night, of course…How could he when his fate rested in the hands of an unflinching council?

Eventually, he received a formal letter from the asha association, stating that it was not up to them to decide his fate, but that they would wait to reassess his case until after his official Heartsrune Day Ceremony.

He was sad and frustrated by the council’s reply, yet couldn’t help but feel slightly optimistic. There was still a sliver of hope…

There was still time. The next ceremony was nearly a year away.

~~~

Likh told Tea of his feelings as he helped her get fitted for a new wardrobe of _hua_.

The girl had successfully passed her test and was now officially an asha. She’d even been willing to refuse her duties in order to protest his case, but he urged her not to. The last thing he wanted was to be the cause of disgrace for the asha-ka. He needed to go about things the _right way _if he were to have a fighting chance.

He slipped a silver hairpin in her hair with an intricate, sea shell design as she vehemently complained to Rahim about being put on display to attract money for the asha-ka, and how she wanted more training and less parading.

“…Khalad’s been bottling my memories of embarrassment and fury like a fiend…” she rambled.

Likh froze at the mention of the apprentice’s name, causing Tea and Rahim to both pause and look at him.

“Something to add?” Tea asked, a sly smirk spreading across her face.

“No…” he said shaking his head. But he knew she wouldn’t be fooled.

“Likh, have you seen Khalad lately?”

He’d been too embarrassed to tell her about his experience with the man after the _darashi oyun_ and still wasn’t completely positive it hadn’t been one of his many fantasies. The last thing he wanted was for Tea to make more out of it than it actually was and get his hopes up.

His heart was already hanging on by a thread.

It was so painful wanting something so desperately with no hope of ever getting it…That’s how he’d always felt about becoming an _asha_…but now, he felt he had more of a chance of attaining that dream than he did of receiving Khalad’s affections.

“No…not since…”

“Since when?”

“It’s been over a week at least…”

“Likh! You need to go and visit him!” she said pursing her lips.

“I’ve been busy…there was the testing…and practicing to be tested (which of course he never even got to because they rejected him so quickly), and then there was the funeral…(for the three fallen asha from the _darashi oyun _catastrophe)…and…”

“And you need to make time for him. I think he’s missed your visits…his shop is a wreck and so is he…He’s not eating properly.”

“He’s _always_ a wreck…” Likh sighed, thinking fondly of Khalad’s disorganized little hovel and his unkempt, white hair falling in his face. He blushed and turned his back, looking through a glass bowl of golden pins.

“Even so…he could use the company. The Heartforger returned and he’s wearing him out with more work…”

“I suppose I could make time tomorrow…”

“Good,” Tea said triumphantly, putting her hands on her hips. “Ouch!” she yelped, throwing her hands in the air.

“_Uchenik_!” Rahim growled.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad was a wreck and he knew it.

And it wasn’t because the Heartforger had given him more work…or annoyingly critiqued _every single thing_ he did…or chastised him for being so careless and clumsy with memories…

He was a wreck because the _boy from the zivar shop_ hadn’t come to see him.

Surely, he’d had his testing by now…Though, with the chaos from the_ darashi oyun_, and the funerals for the fallen, _and_ Tea recovering…it made sense for things to be postponed. But Tea had already improved enough to visit him, and she’d told him she’d passed her asha test…So why hadn’t Likh come?

Khalad yawned and rubbed his eyes as he stood up, feeling just how sore and exhausted every bone in his body was from sitting in such a stooped position all day. His stomach growled but he knew he only had tea in his cupboards. He’d have to wait until morning to get food when the shops were open.

The Heartforger had already come and gone; he never stayed long. His services were always needed elsewhere. But Khalad was glad to be alone with his thoughts again, even though normally he almost _enjoyed_ his Master’s company, even if the man did call him “Junior” and correct everything he did…he was company…a _companion_…Something Khalad secretly longed for.

His life had always been a lonely one, made even more so after leaving the palace in Odalia and taking on the position of the Heartforger’s apprentice. He so looked forward to the random visits he received from his brother, and even his irritating cousin, Kalen…but if he were honest with himself, he craved the _boy’s_ company even more.

He shuffled to his ratty cot in the corner of the room and collapsed on top of the thread-bare blanket, a small cloud of dust rising in the air as he did. He lay on his back and stared up at the wooden beams in the ceiling, wishing he could understand his obsession with the boy. At least now he’d come to terms with the fact that it _was_ some kind of obsession…or _infatuation_.

Maybe he was just desperate for a friend.

But deep down he knew it was more than that.

He brushed his fingertips over his heart and winced.

_So much more._

***

~Likh~

Likh smoothed back his hair again for the millionth time and tied it in a neat ponytail that fell down his back. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and blinked. Sad blue eyes with long lashes and a round, feminine face stared back at him. If only he could have been born a girl! Everything would be so much easier. He could dress how he wanted, paint his face for the pleasure of it, wear _hua—_be a full-fledged asha!

And maybe even have a very real chance of wooing the Heartforger’s apprentice.

He blushed at the ridiculous thought.

The sun was just peaking above the horizon as he made his way to Khalad’s shop, determined to get the man breakfast and make good on his promise to visit him after his asha testing...even if he was about a _week_ late. Though _why_ Khalad would be disappointed to have not seen him sooner, he didn’t know. The apprentice probably hadn’t even given him a second thought.

The pastry shop was just opening as Likh walked towards it. He went inside and bought two boxes of breakfast sweets, along with a fresh bag of mint tea. Knowing Khalad, there probably wouldn’t be anything suitable to eat or drink.

When he arrived in front of the Heartforger’s door he nearly turned around and walked back the way he came. He felt like a bundle of nerves—nearly as scared as he’d felt before dancing in front of all of Kion!

Would Khalad even be awake? Would he think he was crazy for visiting so early? But did the man even sleep? He wasn’t sure.

He bit his bottom lip and stared wearily at the splintered wooden door, and then finally, mustering up the courage, he took a deep breath and knocked several times.

Likh waited, feeling only the incessant beating of his heart and closed his eyes, praying he’d made the right decision.   


When he opened his eyes again Khalad was staring back at him. The man’s mouth was hanging open slightly; he looked like he’d just woken up, his hair even messier than normal and sticking out in all directions; his eyes puffy and squinted nearly shut. “You came,” he rasped.

Likh’s eyes widened in surprise. “I promised, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but…I wasn’t sure you were _actually_ coming.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Likh said smiling and standing taller. “And I’ve brought breakfast,” he said, holding up the boxes. And judging by how gaunt and exhausted Khalad looked, he desperately needed the nourishment.

Likh walked a few steps closer and peered up at the man, immediately noticing the dark purple circles under his droopy eyes. He had the desperate urge to run his fingertip over the bruised skin…ever so gently…and tell him to sleep.

“I’m glad,” Khalad breathed, his baffled expression turning to one of happy amazement and his lips pulling up into a sleepy grin.

Likh blushed and quickly slipped past him through the doorway. He couldn’t believe he was really there…at sunrise…bringing Khalad breakfast…_completely alone_.

He quickly made space on the messy table and set the boxes down, then turned around to find Khalad staring at him, wearing his typical, intense, unreadable expression.

“You didn’t have to bring breakfast,” the man finally said, running his fingers back through his hair.

“I know, but I wanted to…When’s the last time you ate, anyway?”

Khalad smirked and averted his eyes to the floor.

“That’s what I thought,” Likh said, turning back around and opening the boxes, the tempting smells of cinnamon and vanilla flooding the small room. He could feel the man moving quietly towards him from behind, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“So how did the asha testing go?”

“Oh, it went.”

“And?”

“And I was rejected…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, they did say they would reassess my case after my Heartsrune Day Ceremony…So I guess there’s still a bit of hope.”

“Well, that’s something…” Khalad said, moving to stand by his side.

“I just don’t want to get my hopes up _too_ much, though…”

“So if you aren’t allowed to be an asha—"

“I’d be trained to be a Deathseeker,” Likh finished, turning and staring up at him with a somber expression.

Khalad narrowed his eyes at him; his strong jaw working as he stared back. “But that’s not…fair…” he finally said, looking away.

_Why does he look so pained at the idea? Does he really care?_   


“Life’s not fair…” Likh stated, suddenly feeling all of his suppressed emotions well up in his throat.

“Hey,” Khalad said softly, reaching out his hand and gripping him by the shoulder, the gesture nearly making Likh's knees buckle. “Believe me…I know all about life not being fair…” he said quietly, his silver eyes going dark.

Likh’s shoulders slumped as he exhaled heavily, and before he could even reply, Khalad was there, wrapping his arms around his back, and pulling him snugly against his body.

It felt so easy.

So familiar.

Like they’d always embraced each other this way.

It felt like _coming home._

Likh relaxed and rested his head against the man’s chest as a sob escaped him, his hands tucked up against his stomach.

“It’s okay,” Khalad whispered by his ear, squeezing him tight. “It’s okay…”

Likh slipped his arms around the man's waist and curled his fingers into the back of his worn, grey tunic, inhaling his glorious, heady scent. Khalad smelled like smoke and mint and sandalwood soap…and everything Likh had ever wanted but never thought he could have.

“It’s okay,” Khalad whispered again by his ear, the sound of his voice, and in such close proximity, making his blood catch fire.

Likh shivered and pulled back, sniffling, and blinking his wet eyelashes up at him. “Sorry…” he mumbled, wiping under his nose. “I didn’t mean to go to pieces…”

“You can go to pieces anytime…” Khalad said with such kindness that it hurt.

And then the man did the most unexpected thing—he carefully wiped away Likh's tears with both his thumbs, his large, warm hands delicately cradling his face as if it might break.

Likh gaped up at him, the room starting to spin, and his heart aching fiercely. “Thank you,” he breathed, unsure how to respond.

He’d never been touched with such tenderness before.

Khalad’s silver eyes widened slightly and then he cleared his throat and slid his hands down to grip him by the shoulders, stepping back and putting space between them. “Well, what are friends for if not to put each other back together again?”

A stabbing pain shot through Likh's heart and he was grateful Khalad couldn’t read his heartglass at that moment. “True,” he replied, trying to force a smile as he wiped his wet face. “We should probably eat before these get cold,” he said, turning back towards the boxes on the table.

“I’ll get some plates,” Khalad said.

***

~Khalad~

Khalad wanted to hit himself.

What was he doing hugging Likh like that? _Touching_ him like that? He’d just made things a million times more awkward...because he was pretty sure that _friends_ didn’t hug each other and feel the things he’d just felt.

Holding that boy was indescribable.

Thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

It was as if Likh was made to fit in his arms; his head rested exactly over his heart, his hands wrapped so perfectly around his waist…

Khalad gulped. He needed to focus on the task at hand. He went straight to the cabinet and grabbed two plates off the shelf, absently wiping them off on his tunic.

He needed to get himself together…but there were too many things happening at once. It always seemed to be that way with Likh. Every encounter they had was somehow explosive…a literal building had collapsed during their _darashi oyun_ visit. Would he somehow manage to burn down his shop during this one? With the amount of fire pumping through his veins at the moment, it was highly probable.

“I’ll make some tea,” he heard Likh say, and immediately jerked his head up.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Likh turned back to look at him, his cheeks coloring. “I’ll be sure to use the cloth this time,” he said with a smirk, his sapphire eyes dancing.

Khalad felt a thrill go up his spine.

Oh how he loved it when the boy was playful!

He sat the plates down on the table and then watched Likh closely, admiring every graceful movement of his hands, his body…his long, glossy hair that slid so effortlessly back and forth between his shoulder blades. He wondered what it _felt_ like…probably as silky as the black _hua_ the boy had worn at the _darashi oyun._

_“_Have you been busy?” Likh asked, walking towards him.

Khalad stared fixedly at the yellow silk fabric of Likh’s tunic and then down to his perfectly tailored white pants, and gulped. He always did look impeccable. So clean. So untouchable. It made him feel like he was wearing a potato sack.

“Oh, erm…a bit more than usual,” he replied, ducking his head and scratching the back of his neck. “Master was here a few days ago and added to my workload.”

“I’m sorry,” Likh said quietly, smoothing his hands down the sides of his pants. Khalad followed their movement closely with his eyes.

“No, it’s okay…I like being busy…takes my mind off of things…”

“What things?” Likh asked, cocking a dark brow.

A jolt of heat went straight to Khalad’s face.

“Just…things…”

“Well, that clears things up,” the boy said, breaking into a grin.

Khalad started to grin back but then stopped himself and chewed on his bottom lip.

The tea kettle whistled and he moved forward. “_I’ll_ get it,” he said emphatically. “Wouldn’t want a repeat of last time…”

Though he wouldn’t be sorry in the least to kiss the boy’s hand again.

A thrill went up his spine at the thought.

“True,” Likh replied, moving to the table and placing the breakfast sweets onto their plates, one at a time.

Khalad took a deep breath and carried the kettle back to the table. “Well, here we are again,” he said, carefully pouring tea into Likh’s cup and willing his heart rate to slow down.

“Yes, here we are again,” Likh said shyly, glancing up at him with rosy cheeks.

Khalad had the inexplicable desire to break into song.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khalad's inner struggle: "The Feeling"-Justin Bieber (feat. Halsey)


	6. Never the Same

***

~Likh~

Likh nearly floated the entire way home.

He’d never felt more giddy.

Spending the morning in Khalad’s company, receiving his undivided attention, was the brightest spot in his entire life.

They’d talked about everything and nothing and laughed and teased.

Next to Tea, Khalad was the easiest person to talk to; when the man opened up, he was warm and playful and his silver eyes shone with a laughing wisdom that enigmatically drew one in. He was witty and clever and so full of knowledge! Likh felt childish in his company sometimes, so ignorant and small, but not because the apprentice treated him that way…On the contrary! It was his own insecurities that seemed to well up when he compared himself to the brilliant man. If only he could be as skilled with his dancing and runes as Khalad was with forging a heart!

And he still couldn’t believe Khalad had embraced him—a gesture he would surely cherish for as long as he lived!

~~~

Likh's visits to see the apprentice became more and more frequent. He went to the man’s shop several mornings a week, bringing him breakfast and making them tea before they both started their busy days. Khalad was looking healthier and his shop was certainly more organized and tidy thanks to the visits. The windows were finally clean! Likh couldn’t help but straighten things, and Khalad didn’t complain—he just watched him sleepily as he sat sipping on his mint tea.

~~~

“Khalad is looking much healthier,” Tea remarked as she was visiting Rahim’s atelier shop again, getting fitted for yet another new _hua_. She’d been booked solid with asha duties for three months.

“Mmmhmm,” Likh noised as he carefully placed a silver, ruby inlaid pin that bore the crest of Kion in her dark, coiffed hair.

“And that’s all you have to say for yourself?”

“Mmmhmm,” he replied, blushing this time.

“Likh! He says you’ve been visiting him _several times_ _a week_! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’ve been busy,” he replied sheepishly, stepping back and smoothing down his lilac tunic.

“Not too busy to hear about your love life!”

He scoffed and felt his cheeks burn. “I don’t _have_ a love life!”

“Doesn’t seem like it to me…” she grinned.

“Well, I don’t…we’re just _friends_…we enjoy each other’s company. And besides,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper, “he’s done _nothing_ to prove it’s anything more than that.”

Tea’s eyes glittered. “Except let you visit him every week, bring him food, tidy his shop…give you his _invaluable_ time and energy when he could be making heartglass.” She cocked a brow triumphantly. 

Likh paused for a moment and pursed his lips. Did Khalad really value his presence more than _making heartglass_? His life’s purpose?

He looked up to find Tea and Rahim both staring at him shrewdly.

“He’s just a very giving person,” he finally said.

“Right,” Tea sniffed.

***

~Khalad~

The Heartforger was back again and this time with news of a mysterious sleeping sickness in Tresa afflicting the nobility, as well as sightings of the _azi_ at the Odalian border.

Khalad had grimaced at the unpleasant news. There always seemed to be something tragic going on outside his little shop. It was exhausting enough trying to keep up his work for the local community…calamity elsewhere would mean even more memories to bottle and hearts to make.

He suddenly thought of Likh, telling him to slow down and that he couldn’t help everyone all the time, otherwise he’d be of no use to anyone. The boy had placed his hand lightly on his shoulder and stared him directly in the eyes as he’d said it, and with an aching heart Khalad had desperately wanted to grab him and hold him close and thank him for caring so much about his wellbeing when no one else seemed to.

At first glance, Likh might have appeared to be fragile and insecure, but Khalad was beginning to learn that there was an infallible strength to the boy that reared its head on occasion. It always caught him off guard. Those blue eyes could turn to flint just as quickly as they could look shyly away…and they certainly had the ability to melt _his_ heart. Khalad had to contain his urge to give Likh anything he wanted…the sun, the moon, and all the stars…but unfortunately, all he had to offer was his tea kettle…and Likh even brought the tea now.

Khalad felt completely inadequate for the boy. Likh was beautiful and talented and so knowledgeable about things he was completely clueless about…Like what colors complimented each other, every kind of precious gem and luxurious fabric…rune magic, ancient dances, and customs he wasn’t even familiar with.

Even though he'd spent his youth at the palace, he hadn’t had much care or time for those sorts of things. His father had forced him to begin his training as a Deathseeker early. There was no time for “frivolity” as his father had called it. And when he wasn’t being forced to train, he spent his time alone...reading, and praying for an escape from a life he never wanted.

And then that day came.

His father, disgusted by his “unnatural proclivities” was more than happy to hand him over to the Heartforger to train as his apprentice. And Khalad was more than willing to take on a life of obscurity if it meant escaping his prison. At least as a Heartforger he could do as he pleased and go where the wind blew him. He could lead a _private life._

He sighed wearily. 

Likh still didn’t know his true identity.

But he was terrified that if the boy did know, his visits would cease. Most people were leery of befriending a royal…that is, unless they had ulterior motives, which of course Likh never would. But how could he just come out and tell the boy he was born a prince? It would certainly change the way he viewed him.

And what of his greatest secret?

_That he preferred his own sex._

Only his father was aware of that.

He clutched his bicep and grimaced, remembering where his father had roughly grabbed him when he’d caught him flirting with one of the castle guards.

Khalad had had a painful crush on a solider named Aspen. The man was tall and lithe, with shoulder-length chestnut hair and smiling, green eyes..his hearty laugh contagious. He was the reason Khalad knew for certain he was _different_. Aspen indulged him like a child but didn’t seem to return his romantic feelings. Khalad hadn’t cared, he was just happy to be near him, to light up from the inside every time the man ever so much as smiled at him.

But unfortunately, his father had detected his feelings for the man and put an end to his secret crush through force.

Khalad shivered.

The king had made it perfectly clear that he detested him and wished he’d never been born.

His father was a cruel, brutal man and he'd secretly wished for his death ever since that day.

He wished he could burn the memory from his brain forever…but thanks to his silver heartglass, he was doomed to remember it always.

When he was taken on as the Heartforger’s apprentice, he determined to use his gift to take away the pain of other's. He couldn’t erase his own tragic memories but at least he could bottle theirs and use them to forge new heartglass. At least the people’s suffering wasn’t in vain…at least his own painful past had some useful purpose...

It compelled him to mend the hearts of others.

***

~Likh~

Likh was horrified to learn that Tea had battled with an _azi_ and nearly lost her life in the process. She’d been brought back to the Valerian to recover and he was determined to go and see her. He couldn’t believe she’d taken on a _daeva_ of that size and on her own. She was truly reckless sometimes…_Most of the time, _he thought. He was at least relieved her brother, Fox, and Lord Kalen had been there to protect her_—_though, knowing Tea, _she_ was probably the one protecting _them_.

He straightened his powder-blue, linen tunic and stepped out of the _zivar_ shop, deciding to get Tea some fresh _paloodeh _on the way_—_her favorite.

When Likh arrived at the House Valerian the servant, Farhi, answered the door and ushered him inside, saying Tea had just awoken from a nap and he was welcome to see her.

When he came around the corner, carrying boxes of food and a bouquet of flowers, he froze.

Khalad was there.

The apprentice was sitting on the edge of Tea’s bed, a silvery white wisp moving from her forehead to his fingertip. His eyes were closed as he concentrated but Tea’s were open, and widened considerably as soon as she saw him standing in the doorway.

As if sensing her shift in energy, Khalad opened his eyes and turned his head back to look at the door.

Likh swallowed hard and tried to force a smile. He hadn’t been prepared to see the apprentice; his heart beat uncontrollably against his ribs. If Khalad only knew how much nerve and energy it took just to visit him…being in his company took considerable preparation. It was not something one did lightly.

_Especially when one’s heart was on their sleeve._

“Likh!” Tea breathed, her face pale and gaunt. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked completely drained of life.

“Tea!” he said moving closer. “You look…”

“Terrible, I know," she chuckled, grinning tiredly.

Likh blushed. “I’m just glad you’re alive!” he said, setting the boxes down on her nightstand.

“For me?” she asked, eyeing the bouquet of purple flowers.

“Yes, for you,” he said smiling and handing them to her, never for a moment forgetting Khalad was still sitting on the bed, seemingly preoccupied with corking his glass bottle.

“Thank you! You’re always so thoughtful, Likh,” Tea sighed, glancing at Khalad, who was still silent.

The apprentice finally looked up, his face expressionless, and raised his eyes to meet Likh's.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Likh replied, wishing they could act as comfortable around each other as they did on the mornings he brought the man breakfast.

“And you brought me food, too?” Tea asked, lighting up.

“Yes, your favorite…” Likh said, opening a box for her; the sweet, mouth-watering scent spilling out and filling the room.

“_Paloodeh_!” Tea said dreamily. “If anything will bring me back to life—it’s this…”

Likh smiled at her but couldn’t help but notice the strange expression that crossed Khalad’s face. Was he annoyed?

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Likh said. “Please, finish what you were doing.”

“We’re done, “ Khalad said in a clipped tone, standing up and slipping the bottle inside his tunic pocket. “I should be going anyway…”

“Wait! I mean…you don’t have to go…I can go…”

“You just got here,” Khalad snapped.

Yes, he was definitely _annoyed_.

“Oh…well…”

“Likh, why don’t you see Khalad out and I’ll get dressed,” Tea said, narrowing her eyes at the both of them.

“Okay…”

Likh's stomach tightened. Why was Khalad acting so cold towards him?

He walked to the entrance of the Valerian with the man following silently behind him. They stepped outside and Likh moved to stand just below Khalad on the steps, blocking his path. “What’s wrong?” he asked, staring up at him.

“Nothing.”

“Why are you being so cold?”

“I’m not…”

“Yes, you are! What’s changed?”

“Nothing,” Khalad snapped, running his hand back through his hair and staring daggers at the gravel path leading away from the asha-ka.

“Was it something I did?” Likh asked, furrowing his brows.

“No…yes…I don’t know. I just didn’t realize you were in the _habit_ of bringing Tea breakfast…”

Likh froze. What was Khalad saying? That he was _angry_ he’d brought Tea food? But why? The man knew they were friends…Why in the world would that simple gesture upset him?

“But she’s my friend…why wouldn’t I?”

Khalad swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I just thought it was _our_ thing…” he finally said.

“Our…_thing_?”

Likh suddenly felt dizzy. Was the apprentice saying he didn’t want him to share that ritual with Tea? How strange!

“Never mind,” Khalad huffed, moving past him and walking down the steps.

“Wait!”

Khalad stopped and turned around, his face once again unreadable.

If only Likh could see his heartglass! Then maybe he'd really know what the man was thinking…He closed the distance between them and stared up at him, searching his face. “If you don’t want me to bring Tea food, I won’t…I didn’t know it meant so much to you. I’m sorry…”

Khalad sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “No…it’s just…I didn’t realize…I mean, you can do whatever you want. I’m sorry for being difficult…I’m just tired…”

“You’ll be of no use to anyone…” Likh said, a small smile playing on his lips. He was desperate to lighten the tension.

“I know…I know…” Khalad replied, rocking back on his heels and starting to smile.

“Same time tomorrow?” Likh asked, wanting to make sure he could still visit him.

“Yes, same time…I’ll see you then,” the man said with a tight smile before turning and walking away.

Likh stood there completely dumbfounded. Maybe something had happened before he'd arrived to upset the apprentice.

He walked back into the Valerian, wracking his brain.

Tea would know what was going on, she always seemed to.

~~~

“So…how’d it go?” Tea asked, propped against her pillows and shoving _paloodeh_ in her mouth like a ravenous _daeva_.

Likh grimaced slightly and handed her a napkin, sitting down on the bed.

“Well, not so good…”

“What’d you mean?” she asked around a mouthful.

“He was so…_cold_. He wouldn’t’ tell me what was wrong. What happened between the two of you, anyway?”

“Nothing!” she scoffed. “He was fine until _you_ showed up…”

“But I didn’t do anything!”

Tea sighed and stared down at her food, frowning.

“What?”

“Well, maybe he didn’t like the idea of you bringing me food…and _flowers_…”

“But that’s ridiculous! Why would that bother him? He knows you and I are close!” Likh protested, his cheeks flushing.

“Maybe he’s jealous.”

“Impossible!”

“Why?”

“Because!”

“Because you don’t think it’s possible he’s formed an attachment to you? That he might be the least bit possessive?”

“No…” Likh said, going quiet. “We’re just friends…” he said softly, his heart constricting.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Tea smirked, biting into another pastry.

“Tea…please don’t…I couldn’t bare it if…I can’t even let myself think like that…”

“Likh, I’m not exaggerating…I wouldn’t do that to you. Maybe in the beginning it was fun to joke about your _unrequited crush_…but I wouldn’t do that now. Khalad _clearly_ cares about you…it’s as plain as day. And I _know_ jealousy when I see it…believe me, Fox isn’t very good at hiding his when it comes to Princess Inessa…And I genuinely think that you bringing me food and flowers upset him.”

“What if it’s because he likes _you_?” Likh asked, suddenly feeling his heart drop to his stomach.

Tea was silent for a moment and then burst out laughing, crumbs falling out of her mouth and onto the bed. “No…absolutely not,” she said with a red face. “Not possible.”

“I don’t know…you can be pretty clueless when it comes to _that sort of thing,_” he said cryptically, thinking about how many times Kalen had been blatantly jealous over her and she was completely oblivious every time.

She stared at him quizzically for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing…”

“Look, Likh, you’ll fix things…he’ll come around…you’ll see. Just bring him some _flowers_ next time you see him.”

“I couldn’t do that!” he yelped, blushing fiercely and shaking his head.

“I dare you,” she said, her tired eyes glittering.

***

~Khalad~

Great. Their first fight and it was all his fault.

But how was he supposed to feel seeing Likh with _paloodeh_ (_his_ favorite pastry) and a bouquet of flowers for Tea? Clearly he’d underestimated the boy’s relationship with the girl.

He didn’t like the idea of Likh spending time with anyone but him.

He didn’t want anyone else to have the pleasure of his company. If he could put Likh in a glass bottle and hide him away from the world in his cabinet—he’d do it. Someone that precious didn’t deserve to be shared with the masses anyway…

_Someone…that…precious…_

He sat down on his stool and hunched forward, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. What had gotten into him? Now he was acting blatantly jealous over the boy…they were friends and nothing more; he didn’t have a _right_ to be jealous over Likh.

The boy wasn’t his.

A pain shot through his heart like a knife, making him wince.

But he _wanted_ him to be.

He wanted him to be his and only his.

He might as well admit it to himself.

But it just couldn’t be.

There were _so many reasons_ why it couldn’t be.

For one, he was in line to be the next Heartforger, a destiny that would surely leave him no spare time or energy for anyone else…and Likh absolutely didn’t deserve a relationship like that…and for another, Likh was of the _same sex _as him and that sort of thing was strongly frowned upon in their society...

And then there was the issue of Likh’s _age_.

He was too young…possibly thirteen…

And of course the most important fact of all—he didn’t even know if the boy returned his affections! Because if he did, _truly_, Khalad knew deep down, that all the other obstacles wouldn’t matter.

If he could just know for sure.

He determined to pry for answers when the boy visited him the next day…even if he didn’t like what he found.

***

~Likh~

Likh was determined to get answers for Khalad’s odd behavior at the House Valerian. He had to know exactly what he’d done wrong so he wouldn’t upset the apprentice again. He didn’t want things to change between them.

He got up early the next day, not even bothering with perfecting his hair, and went straight to the Heartforger’s shop, knocking on the familiar wooden door and holding his breath.

The door opened and Khalad stuck his head out, immediately freezing when he saw him, his eyes widening exponentially when he noticed the bouquet of flowers in his arms.

Likh smiled and held them up. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Khalad replied wearily, opening the door.

“These are for you,” Likh said, handing the bouquet of white roses to him. “And these—are for _us_,” he said holding up the boxes of food.

“Wow,” Khalad breathed, his eyes wide. “You didn’t have to…”

“But I _wanted_ to…” he said with emphasis. “I’m not sure what I did to upset you yesterday, but consider this an apology.” He sat the boxes down on the table and turned towards him.

Khalad was still standing there, holding the flowers, clearly stunned.

“Are we okay now?” Likh asked, moving a step closer, baffled by his own boldness.

“Y-yes…I mean, we were never _not_ okay…It was just me being _stupid_…” the man trailed off, staring down at him.

“Good,” Likh said blushing and averting his eyes. He could only handle Khalad’s intense gaze for so long. Did the man have any idea how it unhinged people? He was a soul-gazer.

Khalad smiled and walked towards the cupboard, pulling out a dusty blue vase. “These remind me of you…” he said, placing the bundle of white roses in the vase and pouring some water inside. “They always will…” he murmured. 

Likh's heart beat faster. He watched closely as Khalad’s large hands carefully arranged the delicate flowers with skill. Everything he touched seemed to turn to gold. It must be the trait of a Heartforger, he thought…magic hands.

Eventually, they sat down at the table with steaming cups of mint tea between them and stared at each other.

“So…” Khalad said, drumming his fingers on the wood.

“So…”

“How old are you, anyway?”

Likh was completely taken aback. What a strange question.

“I turned fourteen in April. And you?”

“Nineteen in July.”

They continued to stare at each other.

“Your family?”

“I’m an orphan…Mistress Chesh found me on the doorstep of the _zivar_ shop when I was five.”

Khalad’s eyes widened.

“And you?”

“Similar…” the man said, a pained expression crossing his face.

“How so?”

Khalad squirmed in his seat and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “There’s something I need to tell you…” he said in a strained voice. And then he sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment.

“What?” Likh asked, his heart racing. 

“You actually _know_ my family…”

“What?! Who?”

“Prince Kance…” he said wincing. “He’s my…_brother_…”

“What? Are you serious?”

“Completely. King Telemaine is my..._father_…”

A horrified expression crossed Likh’s face. “But that would mean…that would mean…you’re a prince! You’re THE prince!”

“Yes…well I _was_…but all my duties were relinquished when I was chosen to be the next Heartforger…Kance took my place.”

Likh's stomach started to twist as his brain raced to make sense of the shocking information.

“But that means…everything I’ve ever said…about customs and traditions…about the royal houses…and the _royal family_…you already knew from firsthand experience! What a fool you must think I am!” Likh nearly yelled. He could feel his cheeks burning. “Were you just _indulging_ me?”

“No! It wasn’t like that! You know more about all _those things_ than I ever did…I swear! I was locked away in the castle, already training to be a Deathseeker, hiding from my father…or reading about anything that didn’t have to do with _that world_…” he muttered. “I was miserable!”

“So you _have_ just been indulging me! You probably detest what I do! Dressing asha and nobility…the shallowness of it all.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“But you’ve _thought_ it!”

“Likh!” Khalad said, abruptly scooting back his chair and standing up. He moved around the table and stood before him, towering over him. “I’ve _never, _for one moment, thought _anything_ about you was _shallow_…Your perspective on art and beauty and life is…enchanting…” And then was kneeling down before him, grasping his trembling hands in his large, warm ones, “_You’re_…enchanting,” he breathed, peering up at him, unblinking.

Likh gaped at him.

The man was kneeling before him…_again_…telling him he was _enchanting_…with a pained expression darkening his handsome face. How was this really happening? It was too much to take in.

“But…you’re…a _prince_…” was all he could think to say.

“And I don’t want that to change how you see me…or our friendship.”

There was that painful word again. _“Friend.”_

“It’s just a lot to process…” Likh said quietly. “All this time I thought I was spending time with someone…normal.”

“But I am! I prefer this life…my childhood at the palace feels like some half-forgotten dream. I was never really apart of that world. It wasn’t where I belonged….I would never go back.”

“Not even if I were a part of it?” Likh asked.

Clearly_ love_ was making him bold.

Khalad froze and narrowed his eyes at him for a moment, and then his lips slid up into a heart-stopping grin. “Well, I suppose I could make an exception…for _you,_” he said with glittering eyes.

Likh blushed deeply and had to look away.

“So do you forgive me for keeping this from you? I just didn’t want you to treat me any differently…”

“Yes…I forgive you,” he sighed. “I understand…Now it makes sense why prince Kance and Lord Kalen are always visiting you…and why you _look_ like you belong in the royal family.”

“I may _look_ like I belong,” Khalad said squeezing his hands, “but in my heart, I don’t.”

Likh narrowed his eyes and stared at him for a moment.

“I believe you.”

A look of total relief washed over the man’s face.

Likh was grateful that Khalad wasn’t apart of that world anymore, because if he were, it would be one more impossible obstacle placed between them—though, at the moment, he was having a very hard time remembering exactly what it was that stood between them at all. At the moment, Khalad was very close, still kneeling before him, clutching onto his hands, expectantly. His silver eyes intense yet patient. 

“Your teas getting cold,” Likh murmured, not really wanting the man to leave, but yet too nervous to remain in the present situation.

Khalad smirked at him and gingerly stood back up. "Wouldn’t want that,” he said, brushing the dust off his knees.

Likh grinned from ear to ear. He wasn’t sure what had just transpired, but whatever it was, he had a feeling that his relationship with the man would never be the same.

Regardless of whether or not Khalad returned his affections—it was too late.

Likh’s heart was already completely and irrevocably…_his_.

***

\--- T O B E C O N T I N U E D ---

***

_Thank you so much for reading!_

***

I truly loved writing this story! Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3! Follow me on Tumblr at “milesofblue” to stay up to date with my writing! I also use my profile on here to post updates! I would love to hear your comments, too! =)

Love, D

***

**Find all my Moodboards here:**

[ **Khalad Moodboard** ](https://milesofblue.tumblr.com/private/190737226227/tumblr_fC7HCQfmj47IbolRd)

[ **Likh Moodboard** ](https://milesofblue.tumblr.com/private/190737273587/tumblr_x0qKGHRUwLMCOsOAf)

*******

**Story playlist:**

"Young Hearts"-COMMUTER (Ch.1)

"WILD"-Troye Sivan (Ch.2)

"FOOLS"-Troye Sivan (Ch.3)

"BLUE"-Troye Sivan (Ch.4)

"The Feeling"-Justin Bieber (feat. Halsey) (Ch.5)

"It Will Rain"-Bruno Mars (Ch.6)

"I Choose You"-Sara Bareilles (Ch.6)

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First fight: "It Will Rain"-Bruno Mars  
Irrevocably his: "I Choose You"-Sara Bareilles


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